Thursday, January 31, 2013

In The Interest of The Pin

I'm thinking I may make this a weekly installment type of deal. Y'all offered some great suggestions last week for "Internet Creation to Table Sensation"! I love introductions to my palate...I'm such a foodie and all (and I look JUST LIKE Nicole Wilkins. {sarcasm at its finest}) We've all had epic failures with Pinterest projects whether it be a meal, DIY decoration or fabulous idea for your kid's school party. If you have had nothing but success please go eat some donuts and drink a gallon of Coke. Enjoy your sugar coma.

For the rest of us, here is another tested and success stamped Pinterest meal. Like last week, I can not at all recall if there was a specific name, nor do I actually know where the pin is on my board. I've just made this enough now that it is cemented in my brain. Which is quite amazing since I have trouble remembering what day it is (even though the days of the week have been the same for at least the last 33 years) or if I've taken my meds. Therein may lie the problem.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

7 Things Happy People Say

You have the right words within you to make every day a happy one.
 It's Hump Day...Life Is Good.

7 Things Happy People Say:

1. SWEET! The batteries from the kids xBox controllers will fit in my vibrator

2. "Hello Merry Maids?"...

3. I do solemnly swear and declare I will NOT  be sorting, matching and folding this pile. 
We are buying NEW socks!

4. I am beautiful and...damnit! People LIKE me!

5. NOT IT!
 (when realizing there is cat poop on the carpet,
 the dog got sprayed by a skunk, the trash has to go out 
and its raining ice shards, the dishes are 
overflowing and/or its time to clean the garage)

6. Today is going to be a great day! 
The liquor cabinet is fully stocked and I have no need to wear pants.

7.  .........................(<--nothing because="" br="" busy="" napping="" re="" too="" you="">

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Oops I Did It Again

Don't hate me.

Yes, there are pictures of kids.


GFunkifiedBUT! They aren't ALL my kids AND I have included Chocolate (who's yo mamma?)! Plus? They're funny. If you don't at least smile you were born just not right.

Besides according to Greta and Sunday, the #iPPP gals they want to see my funny, my yummy, my heartfelt, my favorite phone photos of the week. All you need is a blog post containing at least one photo from any phone camera. (sticks out tongue). So that's what I am doing...sharing my awesome!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

What Do You Get When You Cross...

So this week is a bit harder as far as Listicles go. Seems a fancy gal named Wendy has a superhyperawesomefullyfunctional memory. She remembers being a kid. Me? I can't remember if I went poop today.

Do you see the problem?

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Omega 7 From Sibu Beauty

I hosted a Sibu Beauty giveaway as a part of the recent 2012 Holiday Gift Guide campaign. They have some amazing skin care products! Did you also know their mission is to create complete beauty from the inside out? Cruelty free and Vegan, Sibu Beauty is an amazing company inside and out as well. And for an insulin dependent diabetic, this find has been especially awesome!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Dirty Secrets

Everyone has them.

Everyone hides at least SOME of them...and those of you who plaster them all over FB, just know you are highly entertaining and totally being judged which is the only reason you're still on the Friends list.

Dirty little secrets...some may involve the horizontal tango and some may just be your bathroom (*raises hand*) Link up with Aubrey at High-Heeled Love and see what the Facebook posts have been lacking and how your secrets measure up. 

Thursday, January 24, 2013

In The Interest Of The Pin

As Thing1 has shouted on several occasions:

"Woooooowhooooo! Another successful internet creation to table sensation! I LOVE THIS, Ducky!" (and I love this kid!)

and since we all wonder (I know this for fact. I'm omnipotent that way) whether a recipe we pin on the Trest of Pin is actually edible or not, I am sharing a couple of recent successes. We will steadfastly ignore the FAILS.

Everyone in our house has eaten and enjoyed these two quick easy meals. You really have to know Thing2 to be appropriately impressed with the weight of that statement. The kid doesn't eat anything but apples and Goldfish.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Wordless Wednesday - Boob Glasses

Irishman bought me something while out shopping with Thing1 and Thing2 this past weekend. At least that's the text I received. When I got home from work I was instructed to close my eyes and not open them until he said so.

I opened my eyes to reveal this....

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Duck Nuggets

Kids are funny. Especially ours. Often times I for sure KNOW I am outnumbered with the boys...especially when Lil Duck is not at home. There is lots of boob talk and phrases like "Death by nut sac" that somehow make it into musical renditions and pepper the days. Never a dull moment.

Waaaay out numbered but always laughing...we are always laughing! Which is a sometimes a good thing and sometimes especially bad when trying NOT to encourage certain behaviors in Lil Duck. She's sassy. She knows she is funny and she simply radiates when she knows she is making others laugh (apple...tree...couldn't be prouder).

Monday, January 21, 2013

Finders Weepers

Have you ever taken a good look at what is in your closet? I seem to be particularly obsessed with it lately. Having joined households with Irishman a few months ago, I'm learning to live with man. I've NEVER had to share a bathroom....I've NEVER had to share a closet with *gasp*  [whispers] a BOY!

Stasha has thrown down the ultimate of exposure gauntlets. It's one thing to peek into a woman's fridge, another entirely into her closet...especially if said closet is shared. I'd almost rather let you take a peek into my underwear drawer but its empty. Heh

Look, judge, compare, sympathize, empathize and pray for me. Irishman doesn't yet know I took pictures. (there's a new bottle of Jameson in the kitchen, dear...)

Monday Listicles Presents 10 Things In Your Closet 

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Strutt Your Studs - Jewelry Giveaway

Every wardrobe needs a stud...studs that shimmer and glitter and adds the appropriate pizazz regardless of the outfit. They are timeless, classic and beautifully graceful! is an online jewelry store where the beautiful 2 carat white Topaz stud earrings pictured below consistently makes the Best Seller list.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Saint Patrick's School for Wayward Drunks

One degree that just about ANYONE can graduate with honors...even if you don't drink. Seriously! It is entirely possible to be drunk on chocolate. Don't question me. Just go with it. Irish drinking tshirts are the perfect accoutrement to your St. Patrick's Day celebrations this year!

Do you plan ahead? We do. A family with strong Irish roots, we celebrate loudly, boldly and with as much laughter as possible. This tshirt made me laugh out loud.

Made with heavy, high quality cotton, AM Tshirts offer a great selection for any occasion, not just St. Patrick's Day. Assuming you don't encounter anything too extreme like catching yourself on fire or falling into a monstrous pile of cow dung, this tshirt will serve you and your green beer for many St. Patrick's day celebrations. Withstanding several washings, the shirt designs do not peel or crack and the shirt retains the integrity of shape and size. **two thumbs up**

However you celebrate, go big, make fun and be sure to wear your St Patrick's School for Wayward Drunks tshirt! Everyone will want you photobombing their pics!

 I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Lions, Tigers and Idiots...

I'm thinking our education system is failing to proportions greater than any of us thought. Charles The Monarch was mistaken as an escapee. You can read the story on ABC HERE.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

What's Your Emergency?

"911 What's your emergency?"
"Yeah, my wife is having an allergic reaction to something. She was complaining of not being able to breathe before she passed out..."
"And what are you doing to keep her airways open?"
"I shoved my *BEEP* in her mouth but you might wanna hurry up"

This was a scenario we giggled about once the crisis passed. (Rest assured he didn't actually have to call 911). I have to give the man props. In addition to saving my life and the sanctity of my Wonder Woman undersquares, he makes me a loon..momentarily forgetting just how badly I freaked the eff out and blocks out thinking about what may have happened had I been alone.

It happened as quickly as it takes to drop a load. I'm talking girl poopin...not "I'm rewriting the Encyclopedia Britannica set AND proof reading it" boy poopin sessions. I walked into the bathroom, sat down and thankfully was ready to pull up my pants up when it hit. 

Tunnel vision, my gums throbbing, the pressure behind my eyes so intense I thought they were going to pop out. I briefly wondered if I'd really strained THAT hard (more fiber...I'm workin on it). I looked in the mirror to meet bloodshot eyes like I have NEVER seen before and an upper torso fire engine red. It didn't even begin to compete with my worst sunburn. My tongue felt thick and sand paper like and my ability to breathe was drastically dwindling as I ran to the bedroom frantically squeaking out "something is wrong with me!" Then yelling, "HELP ME!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!"
God bless Irishman's quick thinking and ability to remain calm when I was freaking the fuck out and with obvious good reason. He went straight to the medicine tote (heh..thanks to my freakish organization) pulled the liquid Benadryl out and tossed it down my throat. 
He says almost immediately my face color returned to normal. All I remember was thinking "geeze my ears may not actually explode off my head." It took a few more doses of Benadryl to reduce the swelling of my tongue and to be able to swallow. My positive spin on this whole ordeal is that I'm afraid to eat, I have NO idea what caused that reaction and I sure as hell don't ever want to experience it again, but I'm pretty sure I can drop those extra pounds before the wedding now.

Anything interesting or life threatening happen to you this week?

Monday, January 14, 2013

Irishman's Top 10 Movie Quotes

I know you visit for my outlandish snippets into the life I live as I muddle through the Dumbassitis affliction. Usually real life is so much crazier than anything you would find in a book or on the big picture screen so I stick to what I know. Today's Monday Listicles topic happens to be Top 10 Favorite Movie quotes. Awwww yeah! My big cinema nerd friends, push up your spectacles and grab a chair and share YOUR favorite movie quotes!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Callia Designs Jewelry Giveaway

Upcycling is today! Why reinvent the wheel when you can embellish, paint, hammer out, weld, wind and re-purpose it adding beauty and pizazz while making it a one of a kind in a world of cookie cutters?

Possibly you've seen me mention a time or two that Irishman and I will be headed to the chapel this spring. With a wedding comes planning. Wanting a unique, one of kind, perfect for us wedding means searching out resources off the main stream. That is exactly how I found Jessica from Callia Designs. Natural, Simple and unique Jewelry, Bridal Flower hair Pieces, Car charms, Sterling Silver Shark Tooth Necklaces, Wine bottle stoppers, Beach and Nautical Gifts. Custom Requests are always welcome. ...and I was drawn in. I spent hours looking over her items trying to narrow down just what I wanted.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Veggie Porn Is Funny - No Cape Needed #iPPP

Back with flash and fun, the dynamic duo that makes up Gfunkified and MamaMash are bringing us another year of #iPPP! SUHWEET! More phone photos of my cat, my kids and food! I can feel YOUR heart palpitating over the prospect of the awesomeness. In the essence of full transparency, I will tell you there are both photos of a short person and a hairy one but there are also photos of my awesomeness of me, veggie porn, a rockstar and poo.


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Good Intentions - French Sex and Videos

So, while doing dishes the Sunday night Irishman and I had this conversation. It was too good not to share. And yes, mid convo I opened the laptop and started typing as we volleyed the topic.

You're welcome.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Nope! Not Gonna Do It!

I'm really behind this week's Monday Listicle topic and I'm guessing you will be your own way of course. With all the resolutions and inspirational crap floating around, it feels really really good to tell the list to stick it! For once, being a stick in the mud is widely celebrated!
 10 Things I Have No Intention of Changing in 2013...FABULOUS topic this week, Stasha!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Pick Up Sticks - Jewelry Giveaway & Review

Vintage jewelry with all the charm of yesteryear but the style of today!  Pick Up Sticks is a fabulously creative collection of vintage, collage art photo charms displayed on your choice of necklace or bracelet. If you visit Pick Up Sticks and poke around, you'll find that it blossomed from the creativity of two cousins who combined their love of family heirlooms, antique finds, and time-worn treasures with their experience in the filed of art and business.

In short, this stuff is AMAZING!! I am totally in lust with everything on their site and am considering using this for my wedding party gifts this spring. Sold in exclusive retail stores across the US, these swank baubles are not only affordable but fully available online via the Pick Up Sticks website. Because all their images are copyright protected, here is a screen shot of their main page. I needed some way to show you how awesome they are beyond the review item.

With categories covering Dot Words, Bubble Letters, Word Candy, Initials, Family & Friends, Nature, Travel, Women and Zodiac to name a few, you will be swooning and adjusting your wardrobe to coordiate with your new charms from Pick Up Sticks. With photo charms starting at $15, this is a perfect gift for yourself, or anyone in your life you're feeling especially generous towards. I'm a little selfish so I'm keeping mine for me!

I chose the Life Is Good charm for the review. Life IS good! I love wearing this and have received tons of compliments, which of course just reinforces my fantastic taste in jewelry and accessories.

When putting together your perfect accoutrements from Pick Up Sticks, you have a choice of chain style for necklaces in addition to charms and embellishments. A wide variety of trinkets allows you to put together the utmost in individual expression! Here is the creation one lucky reader will win!
 For sure connect on Facebook for the newest additions to the collections and awesome new combinations of charms, trinkets and memories!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Power Stud - CalExotics

***adult content review**

Light saber, combat intruders, solo missions to oblivion and beyond or bedroom play with your partner, the Waterproof Power Stud Rod will ensure you are the winner regardless of the situation! Power packed and requiring 2 AA batteries, this 7inch stud is 100% waterproof and body safe. Soft and flexible this traditionally designed, accented with contemporary flair, vibrator features push button control and three speeds.

Friday, January 4, 2013

A Sasquatch, Fire and Wrestling - Confession Time

I'd tell you to grab the wine, even if it is the box kind, and jump into the hot tub for some good old fashion Friday Confessional. HOWEVER, not only do I not have any wine to bring to the party myself but I would closely resemble a sasquatch in a bathing suit at the moment. Climbing into a hot tub with witnesses wouldn't be the most polite thing I've done but what do I the hot tub is broken and its 20 degrees. Your call...

I suppose a warm blanket, possibly the electric kind if you have it, and a bottle of vodka would work just as well. Pants are optional here.

Aubrey at High-Heeled Love has taken over hosting the confessionals. It really is worth linking up. Find some new reading material, judge some people, realize you really are normal, superior, funnier, more sane, frumpier or lead a more exciting life. Whatever it is you're after, you will for sure find some laughs and realize I suffer from a severe case of Dumbassistis. Without further stalling, let us begin our Confessional Schmeshional stuff...

I Confess...
I am covered in cat snot. We should've named devil kitty, Sneezey. I've never seen an animal allergic to boys the way this one is. Naturally its the boys, so please don't point out there are girls in the house as well. 

I Confess...
I was body slammed by a driveway this week. It wasn't pretty.

I Confess...
I could hear Lil Duck laughing from inside the car as I was sliding down said driveway. It actually made getting up a little easier.   

I Confess...
I COMPLETELY forgot to attend a chocolate party. Seriously! No Joke! Don't you hate me? I do. I can't believe it either. Chocolate martini's...truffles...desserts... I'm pretty sure I hit my head when I was body slammed by the above mentioned driveway. Completely scrambled the mandoolaoblongotta amnesia triangle of my brainage. 

I Confess...
If I made resolutions it would be to lose 12 pounds before April. To suggest to myself that I drop 15 seems too daunting and quite honestly I don't care WHAT the number is. I just want significantly less jiggle when I body slam concrete. 

I Confess...
I thought someone was hiding in my oven snapping pictures. Gnomes and trolls and leprechauns are real, ya know. Turns out the food boiled over and caught fire. Heh...maybe I should limit my wine consumption while cooking.'re turn. Help me feel normal. It can be your charity contribution for the month. Confess, post and link it! I will be waiting...

Thursday, January 3, 2013

7 Surefire Ways To Get What You Want

Its the dawn of a new day...a new year...

hmm...That seems oddly familiar. Song lyrics maybe?

Regardless, according the calendar and much to the Mayan's dismay we have successfully loaded a new roll of toilet paper on this dispenser we call life. Welcome to 2013 Quackers! In the spirit of resolutions, inspiration and all that new age stuff I have some advice for you. Aside from thumbing your nose at whatever is on your calendar and hit the table for a 90 minute massage, here are

7 Surefire Ways To Get What You Want

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Tigers Socks And Farts

Let me set the scene for you...Lil Duck and I chatting in my bathroom as I am changing into pj's in prep of the bedtime routine. I pull my shirt off and she steps closer with a very concerned look on her face...

"Oh, Momma..." she says while tenderly touching the area around my naval and above the waistband of my jeans.

"What did you do? Does that hurt? Were your pants to tight? I'm so sorry" she says as she stares at my stretch marks. I do have tiger marks. Wicked ones. I don't mind them and I've explained them to her before but I do so again.

"Those are actually from YOU goofy. My belly stretched a LOT while you grew inside it"

Thinking a moment, she nods slowly, "OOOOOhhh....yes. Yes, yes yes...I have marks like that too  when I take my socks off. So...will you take a bath with me tonight? I promise I won't fart this time"

And THAT is why I continue to feed this child. She amuses me to no end.