Friday, January 25, 2013

Dirty Secrets

Everyone has them.

Everyone hides at least SOME of them...and those of you who plaster them all over FB, just know you are highly entertaining and totally being judged which is the only reason you're still on the Friends list.

Dirty little secrets...some may involve the horizontal tango and some may just be your bathroom (*raises hand*) Link up with Aubrey at High-Heeled Love and see what the Facebook posts have been lacking and how your secrets measure up. 


 photo HighHeeledLove_zpsbbcc137c.jpg
Step into the Confessional....

I Confess...
Normally I would be hopeful for a valentine's day gift...just based on the track record with Irishman. However with the wedding in April looming and the bills rolling in, I'm guessing a hand drawn ode to love on a piece of toilet paper might be the max.
(ps: have you voted for my story yet? If I win, I won't have to sell the children to pay for the wedding. VOTE! SAVE THE CHILDREN http://bit.ly/UUFuhX)

I Confess...
Also, I am a bit overwhelmed with it all. Planning a destination wedding is a bigger bag than I thought. If anyone wants to take over or just send money for the wedding I would be forever grateful!

I Confess...
Today I will be snorting coffee grounds.

I Confess...
Seeing cars in my rear view mirror at night with only one headlight illuminated wigs me out. Fix that noise!

I Confess...
The static electricity is SO HORRIFICALLY awful in our house that I have taken to wiping my hair and clothing down with dryer sheets. While I smell so fresh and so clean clean....my skin still itches and hurts. I don't usually wish away winter, but the DRY winters? Yes...go away.

I Confess...
I finally called in the big guns and had a professional come in and help me with the floors and bathrooms. They are gloriously clean. The scent of pinesol and bleach permeated the house for hours. Is it possible to have an orgasm from breathing in?

I Confess...
It is unreasonable for me to truly believe a meteor will fall on just the right person. However, a plummeting toilet seat? Just might happen...and THAT would be awesome! Of course I wouldn't want any innocent bystanders injured...



Okay...I'm spent and the coffee is empty. Time for another pot!

13 comments:

Tami G said...

I didn't realize you were getting married - I'm SOOOOO out of the loop on my blog :(
CONGRATS!!!!
(PS - I looked into destination wedding stuff - it's INSANE and gets out of hand QUICK!!)

This looks like fun - I'm gonna run over and participate!
Tami G

Momma Fargo said...

Those are your best dirties? Ha! What happened to the ever revealing duck? Holding out I see! LOL. Great post! Coffee is the BOMB!

VandyJ said...

I'm not talking about my bathrooms. I don't like to think about my bathrooms. I have too many boys to every think about having a continuously clean bathroom. I settle for passable. Of course my passable and my mother's passable are worlds apart.

Aubrey S. said...

Wedding planning is hard. It's harder when the wedding isn't happening right down the street. I vote that you sell the children and just elope =D

I love the smell of PInesol, but not enough to clean the floors this afternoon.

I've been battling the dryness of the winter fairly well as far as my skin is concerned, but I swear, I've had chapped lips from hell this year.

Thanks for linking for Friday Confessional! I'm glad that you're playing along.

Angelwithatwist said...

As a woman who has an addiction to a certain coffee brand our finances were such I was forced to buy store brand. The bitter was smellable from the moment it brewed. I was doomed I thought. Did you know you can add salt to bitter coffee to remove the bitter taste..I do now and it works. See I think you need to do a naughty blog and tell all that other stuff through characters named O'my O' mally or something like that bwhahhaa

incognitusscriptor.com said...

Some days, there just isn't enough coffee.

Dame Nuisance said...

Can't help you with the wedding stuff (I wanted to elope, but Darling Husband talked me into the wedding), but I can help with the static and Über-dry skin. When you're home, put a big pot of water on the stove and turn the heat on low. Add a couple of cinnamon sticks and some whole cloves and let sit. As the water heats, the ambient humidity rises which will reduce both the static electricity and soothe your dry, itchy skin. Bonus is the smell of spices wafting through the house - natural air freshener. Just be sure to check on the pot every couple of hours and add water as needed. I usually keep the pot on the stove for a couple of days running (burner off at night, tho). Eventually, the water will become very very dark from the oils in the cinnamon and cloves. Dump it out, wash out the pot, and repeat as needed.

marvimarti.com said...

How did I not realize you are getting married? YIKES sounds like a lot to plan but it will come together! Hang in there and make time for you during all this planning!

Coffeypot said...

Dead Like Me was one of my favorite shows and I still catch it on SiFi every now and then. And George, Ellen Muth in real life, is a member of Mensa. Smart cookie! As for the static electricity…try placing bowls of water around the house to add moisture to the air. It works sometimes.

WhisperingWriter said...

I might need to call in professionals to clean my bathrooms too.

Good luck with planning the wedding!

Stacy said...

Congratulations on the impending nuptials. It will all come together in the end so just take a deep breath and relax.

I am so with you on the dry winter! Sinus headaches, scaly skin, and my personal favorite...getting shocked constantly. Bring on the spring rains!

Sandy said...

I need to call in professionals for my bathrooms too. All that bending just kills my back.

Babes Mami said...

save the children! kill the static!!