Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Tangled Up In Blue

I've been on a blue kick lately... blue things make me happy.

New blue polish...FLY by OPI

Fun vintage suitcase for Lil Duck to play with

Tiffany blue dish for the kitchen passed down from my Grandmother

And Cinderella ALWAYS has a place in things that create happiness.

What is YOUR happy color ?

Monday, February 27, 2012

I Didn't Get Fired, Damn

So, here it is Monday again.

I like pointing out the obvious.

Although sometimes, to some people, what you THINK is simple and obvious really isn't the case. I didn't get fired Friday. dammit I have to admit that I was totally confused,creeped out and irritated by my summons to the principal's office.

After ushering me in and shutting the door, he takes a seat in one of the two chairs in front of his desk saying, "I didn't really understand your reply to my email. Can you explain what you meant?"

*Blink Blink*

*Blink Blink*  Seriously?!

Lets pause here for a moment so I can share with you the email I sent him. Maybe you'll understand better my response or lack thereof.  I should first tell you that earlier in the week I was chastised for not checking my work email more than once a day. I travel buildings to service my case load and have one break. Here is what I sent...

"I was finally able to check my email yesterday morning. My only break during the work day is 12-12:30 and the library has been locked all week during that time. The video training you emailed me about completing is one hour long and must be viewed in its entirety. It can not be watched in segments to be completed.  I will have to coordinate with my Lead to arrange for coverage of my case load to allow for a one hour block in my schedule to complete the video as I do not have that much down time during my day."

Picking back up at *Blink Blink*....

I start to recap my short email and he interrupts me after two sentences. 
"Please Ducky, sit down. Your standing near the door is just too formal for me."

So I sit and start back up where I left off attempting to explain in a different way what I was trying to convey in my email. Again he interrupts me at the most odd time, in the middle of a sentence. Cocking his head to the side as would a puppy at the sound of a whistle, he says, "Your hair....it looks different. Is it....darker? Hmmmm...maybe....straighter?"


"Oh...hmm...well....It looks really....nice {small chuckle}"


He then asked me if there was a deadline for the training to be completed that he emailed me about. An email in which he gave me a deadline. It was all VERY odd, a total waste of time and ended with a super creepy smile and my gut churning. I may or may not have run back to my classroom which is very odd. NO ONE is in a hurry to enter the Roach & Mouse Motel

I'm still not sure what was SO hard to understand about my response unless it was because it was...you know...in English.  

**images from google images

Sunday, February 26, 2012

FiveFinger Tees - Review

One word: AWESOME

And that's not just because they have a Tshirt featuring my favorite word of all time....

Go ahead...tell me that isn't awesomesauce! I spent a good long time Saturday night perusing Five Finger Tees. (Irishman was directing traffic again so I was filling my time until he got off work). Before I knew it an hour had passed (THATS how many shirts you have to choose from!) all the pickles were gone and my computer screen was speckled with all the diet coke I spewed in fits of laughter. Prices starting at just $9.99 and free shipping on orders over $50, the only problem you're going to run into is trying to decide which awesome shirt to clothe your body with! Seriously! The best ever in selection that I've come across with MULTIPLE categories from which choose. Some of those include Movie Shirts, Cult, Political, Funny, Geeky/Nerdy, Offensive, Sports, Music, Video Games.....again...that's just SOME of what you can choose from! Not quite ready for tshirt weather? Hook your awesome self up with a hoodie that will crack yourself sideways every time you pull it on!

Comfortable and soft, size very accurate (when you follow the chart) and holds up well when laundered. Plus these T's don't have really annoying scratchy tags in them either! #WINNING I know exactly what website I'm hitting up for every one's birthday this year; FIVE FINGER TEES. They really have something for everyone I know. Pay securely through the website using a major credit card, Pay Pal or mail a money order. They've got your needs covered!

Some of my favs:

You can find Five Finger Tees on Facebook 
or get the latest right to your inbox by joining the Newsletter

***I was provided product for the purpose of facilitating the review but received no financial compensation for my opinion. All opinions expressed are my own and were not swayed by the receipt of product**

Friday, February 24, 2012

It's Friday, In Case You Didn't Know

It's been one of those weeks; the kind where its important to point out the obvious because it IS quite possible that I missed something significant. One of those weeks where I literally have to check the calendar at least three to four times an hour a day to remind myself of the day, month, year. I'm always checking the clock. Every passing minute is a victory of survival at work so that is just normal. With that in mind, YEAH! It's Friday! <---obviously

Today I'm sharing my typical randomness but linking up with others in the Friday Fragments pool so as to demonstrate that I am not alone in discombobulated thoughts.

**...while driving...(how could I NOT involve traffic in this? you know me better than that)
to THAT guy...Its stellar you've perfected the skill of maintaining a steady 59 mph for 8 miles during the morning rush, regardless of traffic backing up behind you. Not REALLY going to save you in gas mileage when you're 6 feet under...juststayin (yes my aim is impecable. I too have skills)

**...went into wake up Lil Duck...
"Time to wake up Lil Duck!" {sitting up with her hair in her face sporting a VERY creepy voice she says...} "MY NAME IS NOT LIL DUCK!" I actually did look a little closer in an attemp to see her pupils. For a brief moment I was totally creeped out. "Uh...whooooo...are you?" Flipping her hair in a grand sweeping gesture she stands, twirls and giggles, "I! am ARIEL!" ...ah yes...she wore the Ariel nightgown to bed. *whew* Thought we had some sort of demonic posession sweep through the house overnight. Just how I wanted to start my Friday.

**If you're going to take a close up shot of shoes while you're wearing them with TOES OUT, please FOR THE LOVE OF ALL UNBLEACHED EYEBALLS, rid yourself of toe jam, snaggle nails and hair sprouts.

**I realized today that of those in my department, in the building I refer to as The Black Hole, the few staff members that no one likes (ie THAT nurse and THAT para) those are the ONLY two people I really get along with. Heh... there's probably a reason for that. Not sure I want to figure out what that reason is, but I'm pretty sure there is one.

**I wouldn't mind getting fired. In fact, as soon as I hit publish I'm headed to the principal's office. Douchcanonoe has summond me. I think I might talk about my period while I'm in there. Or maybe my answer for everything will be PURPLE.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Quips & Quacks from Lil Duck

Quips & Quacks from
Lil Duck

Lil Duck: "MOM! I have a secret!"

Mom: "ok...what?" *giggles*

{lots of giggling}
Lil Duck: "Mom? My nose really hurts. Can I have some gasoline?"

Mom: "duh...uhm...hmmm....oh! Vaseline?"

Lil Duck: *very exasperated* Yeah...whatever
Lil Duck walked into the kitchen while I'm cooking dinner...
"Mom? How's everything going in here? Smells good. Keep up the good work." 
and she gave me a thumbs up before heading back to her own kitchen to play. Its great to be praised!

Lil Duck: "mom, my neck hurts."

Mom: "Where?"

Lil Duck: "Right here...I think it's from whining so much...."

...in the car on the way to dinner...
Me: "no accidents, okay? I'm counting on you, doll. I forgot the bag so I need you to be a rock star!"
Lil Duck: {very concerned} "Oooookay Do the Chinese have bathrooms?"

*Inspired by Mama Kat's weekly writing prompt:
 1.) Capture what it’s like to spend a day or a moment talking with your kiddo.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Easier - PYHO

First time participating in Shells PYHO...figured this was as good a time as any and really, its more for me than anything. If you can't say anything nice, be a gem and don't say anything all  for it surely would make me feel tons better to hunt you down. *big smile teeth and all*

 1 year, 9 months and 1 day

Does dealing with death ever get easier? Will I ever not experience breath stealing, heart crushing, tunnel vision suffocation when I hear of someones passing? It doesn't even have to be someone I know personally. My thoughts immediately fly to "where am I? Who am I with? Who am I NOT with?" and panic sets in. Tears well, whatever space was left in my chest seals shut, and its an ALL OUT struggle to just hold it together.

Lil Duck will tell me she is going to Heaven to see her Aunt and my world tilts, vision swims and I fight the breakdown "dear GOD! NOT before me....PLEASE!"; my heart cries. Its a sweet gesture, her heart pure as any 3 year old and somehow I make it through as we talk with smiles about God and why Aunt Wendy lives there now and we can't visit.

Does it ever get easier?

1 year, 9 months and 1 day.

We pass the flowers that mark the spot of the earthly reminder of her presence as its just a few blocks from Lil Duck's school and a rapid succession of thoughts fire. She gave me so many precious gifts, unknowingly, in her sudden untimely passing yet even so, some days are suffocating with the desire to just call her.

In her death there was life to be found, deep love discovered and an abundance of family time renewed. In those moments where I fall through the gaping hole created by her absence I find regret for all the times missed with "I'm going to's" and all the "soon I will's" or the "just won't work this week".

Does it ever get easier?

1 year, 9 months, 1 day

Lil Duck: "Mom...was this Aunt Wendy's Princess picture? Is this when she got to be a Princess?"
Me: "Yes, sweetie...it was very much her Princess Day."
Lil Duck: " She looks just like Cinderella."

June 1974 - May 21, 2010

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Send A Flying Card

Send a flying greeting! No....not THAT kind! THIS kind you can actually PRINT words on and even your own custom photo!

Seriously! Talk about unique and worth the money when you figure what you spend at the store on a greeting card and postage only to have it tossed in the trash. But this...this you can use for SO many things after the initial greeting has served its purpose! You have limitless hours of fun in the backyard with Fido playing catch, hide in the bushes and bean that annoying alley cat that keeps pooping in your vegetable garden or pick off the neighbor kids as they ride by on their bikes. Of course there is always the intended use of a Frisbee but with the option of creating your own custom message the possibilities are SO vast! Ordering is super easy through the website which uses PayPal or a major credit card for completing a secure transaction. 

Need or want delivery confirmation or mailing to a military address? They can do it! Find a FAQ page here with everything from what I just mentioned to returns, a problem with your order and how the company was started!

This is the disc the awesome folks at SendaFlyingCard.com sent me and Lil Duck and I have had SO much fun with it. Its been a serving tray for playing restaurant, a boat for her Squinkies, a hat for me when we dance, as well as a large flying object that darn near broke my flat screen tv. (oops)

The kind folks at SendaFlyingCard.com are giving away ONE flying greeting card to YOU! Enter using the rafflecopter form below!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Worst Dressed Blogger - TAKE 2

Visit It's Blogworthy for your daily ridiculous.

The competition runs until February 28th with great prizes weekly so if you haven't entered yet there is time and I fully expect you to give me a run for FIRST PLACE! I can't be the only one to let their ugly hang out or maybe I am just that stupid. You can see my FIRST ENTRY by clicking...uh...those words in red back there.... and that didn't even make the top two. I got beat out by Carrie's Rambles' HUSBAND who evidently prances around in camo tights and Snooki boots. Soooo I can see where that might take Top Place and then coming in second was a sequinned dress *pshaw*.  Now knowing (and having confirmed with SurferWife) that the era not matter I bring you entry Numero Dos!

Now that doesn't compete with the Grammy fashion disasters but its sure as hell doesn't scream MILF either...er...uh...yeah...something like that. So bring it Quackers!


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Reverse Bucket List

Top 10 Things I Never Want To Do Before I Die...
a Reverse Bucket List (in no particular order)

1. Work on a roadkill cleanup crew 

2. Watch a porno with any member of my family.

3. Change an adult diaper

4.Bury another sibling... I only have one left.

5. Clean the contain that holds the fat from a liposuction procedure.

6. Lay in a tank full of snakes

7. Face my fear of sharks

8. Have to interpret John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt in sign language.....Again

9. Work in a crematory.

10. Have to jack off a horse for artificial insemination. 

**images source: google images
Brought to you by Mama Kat's weekly writing prompt: 
3.) Create a reverse bucket list that names the top ten things you never want to do

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Sh!t Irishman Says

Figured this was as good as any Valentine's Day wrap up. Surely there's a bazillion of those floating around the interwebs today and no doubt Facebook and Twitter were blown up last night. While I COULD share all the details as well, it will suffice it to say Irishman did very VERY VERY well with the widely despised holiday and I really don't want to make anyone jealous. Feel free to hit me up if you want details *grin*

Nothing Says I Love You like having the following conversation:

Me: I hate it when my nose is dry but still runs, if that makes any sense.
Irishman: Yes, makes perfect sense. I have the cure.
Me: You do? Vicks?
Irishman: My wiener in your butt.
Me: My butt?
Irishman: Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. I'm a doctor.

And of course I know its true love because he TOTALLY Gets me!

And probably my favorite as of late (because really there is about 10 posts worth of this stuff) was this:
... walking in the door Sunday morning with eggs and bacon:
Me: "Heeeeere I come to save the daaaay!"

Happy Hump Day Quackers

**Tara at Fabulous But Evil inspired this post with her post here.  Evidently she is akin to a stray cat. *snort*

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Use Clipix and Organize Your Marbles

Seriously! Ever feel totally scattered? Marbles in every basket...or rather on the floor in every single room of the house AND rolling aimlessly on the floor of the car? That best describes me...the marbles rolling on the floorboard of the car! My laptop is much the same way with the bazillion links and pictures I've haphazardly saved to the desktop thinking I'd remember to revisit that site or link again. And don't get me started on the tiny pieces of paper I've written notes on or the pages of Notes I've made on my IPhone....with so many things in so many different places I need one jar for all my marbles...

ENTER clipix

Once you set up an account, you simply click the icon and drag it to your buttons bar and you're set for clipping ANYTHING. And...and...this is the best part it synchronizes all your clips. Use the IPhone app for a clip, synched...use your work computer (shhh), synched...laptop at home? Synched! And they have a multiboards feature that allows you to be even better organized. You decide the category so it fits perfectly for your needs and your life. Vacation ideas? List of 'Want to Reads'... found a great coupon site? Clip, clip clip... here is a sample of the vacation board I started.

Its also great for keeping a gift list, shopping list, funny videos, websites and lawyers you might need (you never know). You can decide how public or private you want your clipboards. Share with everyone and allow friends and family to add to your boards or keep it all to yourself with those awesome lingerie ideas! Its up to you!

The time to get organized is now! The way to do it is Clipix.

Promoted Post
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12 Relationship Truths We Sometimes Forget

***rarely do I post something that is NOT my original content. However sometimes you come across something that is worthy of sharing with others. This is one of them. As you may or may not be celebrating St Valentine and getting shot through the ass with the arrow from that naked, kind of disturbing, man-baby St. Cupid... read, reflect and remember that these apply to ALL relationships in life. NOT just romantic ones.***

"Smile Often, Laugh More and Love Hard....its a short ride despite the days you think will never end."
~A Ducky Original 

It’s easy to make your relationships more complicated than they are.  Here are twelve simple reminders to help you keep them on course.
Taken from Marc and Angel Hack Life
Practical Tips for Productive Living Blog
  1. All successful relationships require some work. – They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves.  They exist and thrive when the parties involved take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts.  Open communication and honesty is the key.  (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
  2. Most of the time you get what you put in. – If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding.  It’s a simple practice that works.
  3. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. – Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will create one for you.
  4. There is a purpose for everyone you meet. – Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you; but most importantly some will bring out the best in you.  Learn to see and accept the differences between these people, and carry on accordingly.
  5. We all change, and that’s okay. – Our needs change with time.  When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing.  Sometimes itjust means you stopped living your life their way.  Don’t apologize for it.  Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.
  6. You are in full control of your own happiness. – If your relationship with yourself isn’t working, don’t expect your other relationships to be any different.  Nobody else in this world can make you happy.  It’s something you have to do on your own.  And you have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else.  If you feel that it’s your partner’s fault, think again, and look within yourself to find out what piece is missing.  Your partner can never ‘complete’ you because you are already whole.  The longing for completion that you feel inside comes from being out of touch with who you are.  (Read Stumbling on Happiness.)
  7. Forgiving others helps YOU. – Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
  8. You can’t change people; they can only change themselves. – Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.  If there’s a specific behavior someone you love has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t.  If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows what you need them to do.
  9. Heated arguments are a waste of time. – The less time you spend arguing with the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.  And if you happen to find yourself arguing with someone you love, don’t let your anger get the best of you.  Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.  (Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)
  10. You are better off without some people. – When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. If someone continuously mistreats you or pushes you in the wrong direction, have enough respect for yourself to walk away from them. It may hurt for a little while, but it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok, and far better off in the long run.
  11. Small gestures of kindness go a long way. – Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get.  Every day you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by makingsmall gestures to show your appreciation and affection.  Remember, making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Your kindness and gratitude matters.
  12. Even the best relationships don’t last forever. – People don’t live forever.  Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you.  And remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.

Monday, February 13, 2012

I Pledge My Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to my coffee pot for its unmatchable duty in homicide prevention and
regular bowel movement inducement.

I offer equal loyalty and love in return, always vowing quality responsible ownership.

I WILL: use the highest grade (on sale) coffee filters in your basket

I WILL: use the coldest, clearest filtered water

I WILL: provide the utmost in quality bean (usually) freshly ground to meet your percolating perfectionism standard.

ONE household under your spout, indivisible by creamer shortages, with our favorite mugs raised we grumble our accolades and gulp our first morning smiles.

Good Monday Morning

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Bloggers Worst Dressed Contest - I DARE YOU

Visit It's Blogworthy for your daily ridiculous.

I saw Boobies over at Boobies Babies & A Blog do it.... I just had to join in too. ESPECIALLY when she started making wretched statements about Mr. Boobies who *GASP* wants to burn her *sob* DUCKY ROBE! Seriously?! The horror! That very idea is just sacrilege!

Then I had to jump over to Amanda at It's Blogworthy to see what all this hullabaloo was about. I'm pretty sure that MOST days I totally sort of qualify for the WORST DRESSED. The long of the short of it is this....there's a contest...submissions, votes, prizes and the totally inFAMOUS SURFER WIFE is involved too (squeee) Along with some really kickass judges who are totally going to roast everyone.


So the details are this: We want to see the worst dressed bloggers in the bloggosphere. Dig up your oldest, tackiest, most out-of-style clothes and accessories, snap a picture (preferably of you wearing them) and link your posts up with us! The link-up will be open from February 8 until February 28. There will be several chances to win really fun prizes. Each Wednesday, we’ll pick the Worst Dressed Blogger of the week, and award them with a pack of EyeDews. On February 29, we’ll announce the Worst Dressed Blogger, who will win some beautiful jewelry from Daisy and Elm!  (<---I totally cut and pasted that shiz from Surfer Wife's site so if you have issues with it take it up with her. She's meaner than I am! )

I am going out on a limb posting this pic. I DON'T leave the house looking like this usually. I highly doubt any of the submissions are going to be of what people look like once they step out the door into the general population. And while you can not see what I'm wearing, other than the top of a very plain t-shirt, I can assure you the pants were probably plaid and about 3 sizes too big requiring me to roll them at the waist like I was 10 AND hair is an accessory, right?! RIGHT! So I'm STILL following the requirements of entering. 


I give you.... my entry....

Visit It's Blogworthy for your daily ridiculous. Now head over, check the others out and link up! I DARE YOU!

Idiot Splat

…Usually it happens on the OUT…it almost always happens on the OUT….I walk up to one of those doors operated by the electronic eye (which is just creepy when you think about it anyway) door and it doesn’t open. This time I was at the grocery store.

It happened.

I stand there a minute thinking it was just slow. Some times things are slow just like some people are slow (you know who you are). I can make allotments for that.

It doesn’t move.

I stand there looking stupid.

You don’t want to wave your arms around in attempt to trip the eye because you’ll look even more stupid right?! Seriously though, is that not the ultimate rejection in life? When even the automatic OUT door sensor refuses to acknowledge your presence? I tried the two-step…you know, where you sort of lean forward on one foot and then step back on the other thinking your small back and forth movement will trip the eye? Yeah…no such luck. Asshole.

So I’m standing there and of course about the time I decide I’m going to push the door open because inside I’m boiling, heart about to explode with the fit I’m throwing in my head over this stupid ass door that won’t open (and it always happens when I’m in a hurry, on a mission or have to poop which I can only do at home) and this guy walks up behind me. Just as I’m throwing my full weight into this door to push it open so I can leave this deng food prison, which if you’ve ever pushed one of those automatic doors open you KNOW them summmmabeaches is HEA VY, the door opens.


I effectively THREW my own self through the doorway.

That takes skillz people…S K I L L Z

Its one thing to maintain your grace, poise and balance dusting off this HUGE fail when you have nothing in your hands but when you’ve got your arms both loaded down with $400 worth of groceries (which we know equates to like 5 bags so I was already off balance right?) it makes it a little more difficult to maintain an upright position with such a forceful forward momentum.


*all images via google images

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Four Eyes vs Hairy Legs

I started wearing glasses in the 4th grade and I picked a lovely pair of red round frames.
 I was a mini Sally Jesse Rafael. I knew nothing of fashion....I was in 4th grade. Do not judge.

 My sense of fashion did not improve even as my eyesight continued to worsen. By the 7th grade I was wearing my 90210 wannabe frames...
FINALLY I was deemed responsible enough to move into the realm of contacts and full on HOTNESS...not that glasses aren't great for that whole naughty librarian role play thing but I digress...
Hotness however does NOTHING when it comes to blindness. If you're NOT wearing your contacts OR your glasses and you happen to be legally blind without the aid of either one (or both simultaneously) NEVER EVER bend down to pick up the blurry dark shadow on the floor.


It may or may not be the thread/fuzz/leaf/small toy Squinkie Prince Eric you think it to be. Is your blindasabat self REALLY willing to take that chance?

Because just once....

just ONCE is COULD be this...

Monday, February 6, 2012

Save On Prescriptions with Walgreens

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Walgreens. All opinions are 100% mine.

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You can save even more now with Walgreens special discount on their annual membership for its Prescription Savings Club. Follow this link for all the great details and to sign up. Prescription Savings Club at Walgreens.

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I don't know about you, but when just three of the six prescriptions that I can not live without and HAVE to fill monthly cost me $90, I am ALL ABOUT finding ways to save money! Shop around, stay informed and keep up on what is best for you, your family and your budget. Follow Walgreens on Twitter and Walgreens on Facebook

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Its NOT Mickey and This AINT DisneyWorld

So for weeks, no months, I have been wedging my work bag between the table leg and the back of the teacher's desk on the floor of the classroom in the building in which I spend the bulk of my day. This is where I deal with the boogerlickers you so often see me complain tweet about. If you're new here, I work as a sign language interpreter for an inner city school district. My case load has me working between two buildings during the school day. I start with the high school (6 -12th grade) and move on to the elementary kids (unaffectionately Boogerlickers).

Caught up now?

So this is February. School started in early August and ends May 20th (hallelujahpraiseJesusThankmyluckystarsTGIFhappybirthdaymerrynewyearapplesauceisawesome) it can not come fast enough. Back to the story. I have been wedging my work bag back into the little spot where it is mostly out of sight escaping the curiosity and sticky, boogery, slobbery fingers of little boogerlickers. For the first time ever... let me say that again... For the FIRST. TIME. EVER the teacher says to me Friday after watching me stow my bag,

"Oh, you'll not want to put your bag down there. You should put it up high. I can move things off the filing cabinet and you can put it there."

"Thank you. The kids haven't bothered it at all. They haven't even noticed it down there. It should be fine. Thank you very much though."

Her eyes widen and she brings a hand to her cheek, "Hmmm...yes well, we have little friends that I'm worried about. Mice you know. We have mice in here."




SIX MONTHS INTO THE SCHOOL YEAR and I am JUST NOW finding out that we have mice in our classroom?!

While a mouse itself doesn't bother me, cause me to jump on chairs and shriek at decibels that shatter glass, I DO NOT want to have them stow away in my work bag taking a free ride to the house of The Duck.

I don't care how cute you or the little furbabies are that I caught a glimpse of in the trashcan in the bathroom....

Mickey...You Have Been Warned.

*all images from google images

Friday, February 3, 2012

A Midget A Bowling Ball & A Redneck

..hmmm no joke, just fact and I was there thrust into the heart of the Twilight Zone.

I live tweeted the event so if you don't follow me you really missed out (especially on the pics). I attended a surprise birthday party for a friend in a town about 45 minutes from where I live. Somewhere along the drive, I must have had the radio tuned, the speedometer wiggling at just the right warp speed and picked my nose all at the correct synchronization because I TRULY crossed into some sort of Twilight Zone. You just can't make this stuff up. Meh, I can't anyway.

The party was held a the local (for that town) sports bar -slash- pool hall -slash- bowling alley -slash- biker bar.  I SHIT YOU NOT. Speaking of which, every single bathroom I tried was totally void of toilet paper! WTH?! This lack of paper luck befalls me even across continuums (SMH).

The party kicked off with a not so grand SURPRISE and then it got weird.  Evidently the "loft" room (and by loft they mean up 3 stairs) was only rented for an hour.  Then the DJ showed up and the disco ball started spinning circles through the haze of Marlboro Reds. Despite the thick lung constricting fog, there was no missing the entrance of the ZZ Top mullet look a like (on a minature scale). One hour went quick.

Four pitchers in, someone made a bathroom run and wound up in the bowling alley bringing back a 10 pound hot pink bowling ball as their party favor. Every drunk redneck thought it hilarious to swing the ball between their legs and talk about how "BIG" their balls were.  As if that wasn't bad enough, watching a twig in Wranglers suggestively gyrate to LMFAO while touching himself ..alone...in the middle of the dance floor... just about undid me. I made my exit pretty quickly after that, which was fairly early in the night, trying to count the positives:

1. beer was cheap

2. I had the best boots in the room (thank you Irishman!)

3. It was blog fodder (I left with pictures and video)

4. I have a whole new appreciation for the smoke free city I live in

Thursday, February 2, 2012

I Done Did It! God Help Me

I took the plunge!

I said I wouldn't ever...

Couldn't barely get me to even utter the word...

I was so totally sure I didn't want any part of my life associated with it, partnered with it...

Sharing my time; stealing my thoughts, my attention, my efforts.

It was a firm resounding NO....until....

I really really REALLY wanted to see my friends wedding pins and another friends crafting pins and another friends food pins....I did it...I AM A PINTEREST ADDICT NOW! This is seriously an insomniac's dream! Heh...if that isn't irony.... see you on the boards!!!!

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Today's post and five recent pin shares was inspired by Mama Kat's weekly writing prompt....Are you on Pinterest? Share the last five items you pinned, choose one and let it inspire a blog post. 

Source: tumblr.com via Ducky on Pinterest