We are rapidly propelling towards the end of 2012 much like when I attempted to cross the vast expanse of ice this week to reach the mailbox. I'm hoping to not enter 2013 with a "gherrrrahhhnoooosonofafuckingbiscuitmaker" splatthunk...crack..."whoosh" (the crack was my ass and the whoosh was the air leaving my lungs as I slammed into the ground. It's still hard in case anyone was wondering.)
Still seems way to futuristic to be writing 2013. Afterall, I am only 21 and I still look 15.
Also, I don't do resolutions unless its just to fulfill my need to make a list about something, crumple said list and bean someone in the head with it. Kudos to all you resolutions makers. I shall bake you some gluten free, sugar free, calorie free, die free, vegan, organic, flour-less cookies to celebrate your pending achievements.
I Would Love To Learn:
~To shoot skillfully. Pretty sure its a monumental task to teach me seeing as I often stab my face just trying to get the toothbrush in my mouth. That would be considered close range, right?
~At what octave should I speak and the exact string of words to effectively gain the attention of teenagers in the house (or the four year old. Her ignoring skills are alarmingly well tuned)
~Telekenisis: the ability to move objects with your mind. While this would make pick pocketing a helluva lot more lucrative for me as well as being the bar trick ever, I'm thinking it would be most useful while perched atop the commode in a bathroom void of toilet paper.
~How to symmetrically apply eyeliner and false lashes. Do not judge. Evidently if you don't get your eyeliner perfectly even on both eyes, adding false lashes enhances your drunk, pirate palsy look. Just for the record, its not a flattering look for me.