I know that seems somewhat shocking given how outgoing I am and my reputation for being such a people person. My take on it is that until now, no one has been bold or confident enough to bring me along to one. Thankfully Irishman fits that bill. Also, I hear the government throws very "spirited" events. I'm pretty excited about this. I even considered arriving in costume. He hasn't said anything about it being a costume party but being introduced as his future wife, I think I should make a statement. Sound theory, no?
10 Tips For Attending Company Holiday Parties
1. Do not shag the boss on the coat table in the back room. Evidently, this is a huge no no. The walls are thin at most places.
2.Bring a small clutch rather than the carry-on size bag you normally heft around. This reduces the temptation to sneak extra brownies or shrimp to snack on later.
3. ALWAYS be the one TAKING the photos lest your post holiday joy be damped by seeing your fabulous fashion train wreck go viral.
|find photo here|
5. Its probably not a smart idea to try a Jagerbomb or juggling for the first time.
6. On a diet? Before going to the party drink 8 oz of water, eat 12 raw almonds and one apple. It will fill you up and you'll only wind up shoveling 62 meatballs, 12 mini egg rolls, 2 pieces of pie, 6 stuffed mushrooms, 15 nachos and 4 chocolate covered strawberries - plus 12 raw almonds, an apple and 8oz of water.
7. There is no shame in taking a cab home. Shoving a passed out coworker in the trunk and demanding half the cab fare on Monday may be questionable. You did do them a favor though.
8. If you've had more than one alcoholic drink, under NO circumstance should you open the photo or video folder on your phone unless you are in the bathroom stall by yourself. Do NOT MIX alcohol and photo sharing.
9. If a situation gets awkward always up the awkwardness level. Fart, pick your nose, talk about your newest dildo or scratch your crotch openly. Force the other person to back away first.
**I made that up. I couldn't find actual statistics but I'm sure its close to that.