I can imagine living with the death of a sibling...I do it every day and I do know this...my other sister and I are still alive. Since out sister's death, my parents have not taken a photo of my younger sister and me together nor have we taken a family photo of all the kids together with my sister and me. We use to do that at every family gathering.
There are tons of photos of all the grandkids together...but its just them. The only photos of my sister and me together are the ones we've snapped ourselves holding the camera at arms length. Sometimes I want to shake them and say "WE are still alive!". But I won't because the pain is raw enough I couldn't bare to inflict more and I know everyone deals with grief differently. Instead I will keep snapping pictures at arms length...
21 comments:
Oh Daffy sweetie how painful that must be. Although I kind of understand just with a different spin. When mom passed I have basically ceased to exist for my sisters as well. Unless they need something from me. You know like hosting a big Easter dinner. I can only pray that one day your mom and dad realize that you two are missing her as well, but need the validation that you still matter as well. I don't think your sister would want them to do things that way, not at all. Perhaps it is not so much the grief of losing her as it is fear of losing another. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child, let alone fearing the loss of another. I can understand the holding them at arms length in the hopes that if something bad happens it may not hurt as much, but I know from experience that is not true. The pain is the same. probably more so because they would then be forced to look back on the last few gatherings and realize what they had done, unintentionally. Keep taking the pictures and smiling it is what your sister would want.
First of all? I am sorry for your loss.
They say that time heals all wounds. . . I'm here to tell you that even though that wound heals, it still hurts.
Give your parents time. Like you said, everyone heals differently and deals with pain in different ways.
They will come around eventually.
Until they do? Keep taking those pictures at arms length.
<3
hugs I can't even imagine how hard this is is for everyone
It's funny I ran across your post this morning. I really needed to read it. My mom's parents (both of them) passed last year & ever since my mom has only really lived (it seems anyway) to take care of her sisters. It's the rest of us that she seems to have forgotten. I guess your right, everyone deals with grief differently but I can't imagine how hard it must be on you.
With that said, your pics are adorable & I think you and your sister are beautiful :)
LOve and prayers friend!
I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose a child- whatever their age.
But you and your sis are still here. I hope your parents eventually come to a place where they are able to take pics again. xo
I'm sorry Ducky, I can't imagine any of the pain. Hopefully they heal enough to realize what they still have soon.
Love you
Keep taking those pics. Someday your parents might be glad you did.
Grief can be so raw, even years later. And it can be difficult for families when we all grieve differently.
But keep taking them, for you two.
Hugs
That must be so hard. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry for the lingering pain. But, look at that joy! you and your sister ARE indeed alive! Good for you both for living! I'm sure your sister is smiling down on you both. I think it's great for other family members to see your smiles too. Maybe it will start a trend?
LOVE YOU! I do think that one of these days you do need to do that. Just shake them and say "We are still alive!". You are right that everyone grieves differently but they will regret it one day when they don't have the pictures to look back at all of the amazing memories. After we had several deaths last year I have decided to take more pictures. You just never know.
I try to suppress that thought more often than not.
Thinks get a different perspective once we are a parent, right?
www.mamaandthecity.com
Daffy, I'm sorry. I can't put myself in your parents' place, but one day they'll cherish your arms-length pictures.
You always have a way of touching my heart with your words. The pictures make me smile, too. Thanks for taking and sharing them.
xoRobyn
Ducky, before our cousin Lisa passed away (cancer), the four of us girls snuck away from her benefit dinner to have our picture taken together. it's one of my most treasured items from my past. There is one and only one picture of the four of us together.
Had terminal cancer never touched our lives, there would be ZERO pictures of the four of us. YOU AND YOUr SISTER go get your picture taken together,, you are not being disrespectful to BIG SIS .. in fact.. pile shoes around yourselves.. she would love it..
The Queen
Wishing your family all the best in dealing with this tragedy. Children should never proceed their parents in leaving the world. But of course it happens and has happened in my extended family (cousins, nephew). I don't even like to think of the pain I felt when my kids were in accidents (all fine now).
One last comment - I admire how you gave the post title multiple meanings.
I cannot imagine the pain of losing a sibling. Good for you guys for still taking your pictures together. You will treasure them more the older you get.
So sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard this is for all of you. I love that you and your sister can still take pictures together and treasure the time you have together.
I'm so sorry...I can't imagine losing my sibs right now...
My SIL passed a couple of years ago and it's so hard for my MIL and hubs still...
what beautiful sisters you are!!
xxoo
I won't even pretend to imagine I know what it feels like to deal with what you and your parents are. But good for you for still snapping and living.
Keep taking those pictures and celebrating your lives! I don't even like to think about what it would be like to lose a child. Or one of my siblings for that matter. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Every time you talk about sister it gives me tears. You and your counterpart to crazy ARE still alive and I think, you need to shake them, let them know that you are still here and you are wanting to be known!
I love you and I love when you share little parts of you that not everyone gets to know.
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