Monday, October 31, 2011

A Family of Looney

All month long we've celebrated Friendships! Awesome stories, photos, blogs, tweets, prizes and PEOPLE! Closing out the month I have one final guest post from one of my fav BLOG-tographers, Rochelle from A Family of Looney. I love her photos, her always positive kind comments and did I mention her photos? Her Macro moments and her black and white days and you'll always find a fabulous quote on her sidebar. Her perspective on life - through the lens - is awe inspiring, breath taking and heartwarming. Take a moment pop over and see what journey her camera takes you on today.

As many of you know Daffy is one of a kind.  Seriously, you can't help but love her.  When she asked me to write a guest post at first I was like "This would be so cool"  then the other part of me was like "Crap what do I say".

I am sure most of you don't want to hear about my woes of potty training twin boys or my girl saying dammit when playing UNO.  I was breaking out in cold sweat trying to figure out what to write.

I mean I could write about how much I appreciate Daffy and her friendship or I could write about how awesome she is.  But really you guys know how awsome she is so.....

When one of her loveable Boogerlickers is in her face calling her an apple or some other hated name,  I thought she could envisions herself here...

I figured it was better than sitting in a bathroom stall.  Thanks Daffy for being who you are.  You always bring sunshine and laughs to my day.
Thank YOU! And yes yes YES!! A tub of bubbles is WAY more preferable than a stinky bathroom stall hideaway!!!

From my Princess Clad Pond to yours, have an awesomely Spooktackular Halloween my fellow Quackers!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

RTT - Oh Look! A Squirrel


Evidently its Random Tuesday Thoughts and I'm linking up with Big Momma Cass at Casa di Cass today. I can do random. Just ask the people I text or anyone who follows me on facebook. I'm sorta the DuckQueen of randomness. People usually walk away from me feeling confused and disoriented and wondering if they need medication....or if I do.

I like it that way.

Grab your we go....

-The wind is blowing really really hard today and I wonder if that makes it really really hard to vector airplanes.

-I have a headache bigger than all of Canada, my eyeballs might pop out and I'm constantly fighting the battle of wanting to puke on Boogerlickers. I think its only fair after all they do to me, ya know?!

-I wanted BBQ for lunch today. Instead I ate celery.

-I'm doing this on a totally unscheduled break but I deserve it. The unscheduled break i mean. I did, afterall, eat lunch in my car whilst making the 5 mile drive between buildings. THAT was my only break today and suppose to also serve as my duty free lunch. SUCK IT EMPLOYER

-My right foot is asleep and tingly and my left hand is numb.

-There is a lady in my Zumba class that stinks. Really badly. No seriously, its gross. I thought about Fabreezing her last night.

-I am STILL laughing over having to holler "NO CHIP CLIPPING THE NADS" and its been weeks now.

I could really go on forever...seriously. I suppose I should get back to the Boogerlickers. They aren't just going to magically learn to hear no matter how hard they bang heads together. *sigh* Trust me....we tried it in Science one day. (<----thats sarcastic humor incase you were born without a funny bone).

Monday, October 24, 2011

FYL - Suzy Q - Its A Booger County Life

Friends You Love

Suzy Q is just about as real as you can get; with a blog name of It's A Booger County Life how can you not be?! She's the fully integrated 'country girl' with the job in the "city" who gets to come home to acres and acres of God's beauty (<--might be a wee envious. Does it show?) Seriously. You should see the pictures of the basket of beauty in which she lives. Aside from that, her three boys (4 if you count the husband) will have you shaking your head, gasping in awe and whooping with laughter at their antics and mishaps. Boys...only boys! From painting with toilet water to a jar full of all the special token objects Mr. Riley has pooped out (she's saving that for his girlfriend), you can't help but connect  with her, love her, want to crack open a Mountain Dew (be sure to have PLENTY OF ICE on hand) with her and share stories. Or just sit back and listen to hers. She has HOURS of part? You'll within a few minutes feel as though you've known her forever. She's as awesome as a fresh baked chocolate chip cookie.
 For the 4th week of the Friends You Love blog hop, I give you Suzy Q from Its A Booger County Life.

Ever since Ducky sent me the invite I’ve been tryn to think of what I should write about. Should it be one of my crazy daily life stories (Cuz I gotta-lotta that stuff!) OR, more of a “who am I?”

 I really have just begun blogging so you haven’t missed much if you want to start following my blog. Having said that…I think since this is part of the Friends You Love Month I will dedicate this one to my best friend and let you learn about me as you go if you start following my blog. Fair enough? you have a choice :)

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….tell you- “it’s okay, don’t cry, you can stay by me all day and we’ll be BEST FRIENDS!...on the 1st day of Kindergarten. 34 years later we still are!

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….talk you up to that cute guy you really like!, and if he says not interested she tells him what he missing and tells you that he “turned out to be a real jerk!”

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….talk you up to that cute guy you really like and if he says he IS interested she explains all the ways she will perform BODILY HARM upon him should he ever so much as make you cry!!

TRUE FRIENDS WILL…. say yes to being constantly set up with COMPLETE opposites, just to be able to double-date with you….Even after one overly-rambunctious young man wrestles her to the ground for a kiss and she unwillingly finds out he wears fish-net bikini underwear!!! Almost a deal breaker!...but not for TRUE FRIENDS!

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….get Strep-Throat with you while her parents are out of town just so you can suffer together, even though you spend the entire time trying not to look at each other because you KNOW you’ll laugh and laughing causes EXCRUTIATING PAIN!!!!!!!!

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….stay with you in every class on the first day of high school EVEN IF she’s perty sure she broke her foot that morning- tripping UP the stairs in the gym…that is…until you finally have a class you’re both NOT signed up for and she uses her free time to escape to the school nurse then catches up to you next class sport’n CRUTCHES!!!....WOW! Your foot really IS broke!....I TOLD YOU!!!!!!!

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….be your Maid-of-Honor…and you will be hers!

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….drive 4 hours to see her best friend after they have discovered their baby has Leukemia.. True friends will also be there at 2 in the morning when she calls to tell you that he’s gone after only being here for a month and a half…and listen for as long as she needs you to…..

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….be there to cry with her when she tells you they just discovered she has MS.

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….find out on the way to the hospital for her very serious surgery that your Dad has just passed away and now cannot come to your side, but when she wakes up, her husband by her side, her first words are to ask about you…

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….get together and tell “old” stories on each other and laugh for hours.

TRUE FRIENDS WILL….call you up after going months-or years in some cases-without seeing you and it’s like you haven’t missed a day!

I have many friends despite the tragedies that befall my everyday life, and I guess that’s a good thing cuz ya know those are the REAL friends- that, or they need your personal follies to maintain that their life IS actually normal…..hmmm…Oh well, they are true friends and I love ‘em!

I am so very thankful for ALL my TRUE FRIENDS- old or new. My life is better for just knowing them!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Godiva Coffee - Review/Giveaway

I doubt its just happenstance that both God and Diva are found in this company’s name.
Popularly known for its delectable chocolates, Godiva Chocolatier also makes coffee!


Generously agreeing to join our fabulous month long celebration of woman and friendship, because how could you NOT include JAVA and CHOCOLATE, Godiva has provided the Friends You Love group with products for review and to GIVEAWAY!

Warming up on a fall morning with Pumpkin Spice coffee or snuggling down after a long day into the folds of my favorite fleece throw with a cup of Caramel Pecan Bark is just heavenly. Smooth, perfectly balanced and heart warmingly delicious, either choice is just perfect! Really though, would you expect anything less from Godiva?

My personal pick is the Pumpkin Spice with a splash of coffeemate Natural Bliss vanilla creamer. I love anything pumpkin and Godiva has done a yummerific job with this one! Just the perfect amount of flavor and its sooooo smooth! Pot after pot after pot (notice I didn't say cup? Yes, this Duck gets her java groove on!)


My bag is almost gone. Never fear! I have found coupons, and you can too, to use at your local grocer to get your very own cup of this special seasonal treat! Follow this link for $2 off your Godiva Coffee purchase. ( 

Also enter to win a bag of Pumpkin Spice and a bag of Caramel Pecan Bark below! Which will be your favorite???

TO WIN: Leave a comment sharing with whom you would most like to sit down with to share a cup.

Extra Entries: choose one or all or none. Totally up to you. Must do the first one listed above before grabbing these. Leave a separate comment for each of these.

Subscribed via email to Batcrap Crazy - +2

Grab my new awesome button +2

Follow me on TWITTER +2

BCC Follower via GFC over thar under Quackers +2

Tweet the giveaway once a day for an extra entry each day
 (sample tweet)

#WIN Godiva Coffee and make new friends! ends 10/29 
@batcrapcrazy #FYL

*Entries accepted until 11:59pm CST 10/29/11. The winner will be drawn using and is open to US Residents at least 18 years of age.

**be sure to leave your email with at least one entry comment if it is not enabled on your profile for notification purposes. If I am unable to notify the winner, a new winner will be randomly drawn**

***I was provided product for the purpose of the review but received no financial compensation for my opinion. All opinions expressed are my own and were not swayed by the receipt of product**

Friday, October 21, 2011

Confessional Is Open....

Confessional Friday

Linking up with Mamarazzi! What better way to end the week and start the weekend by judging someone’s confessions and outclicking with a feeling of superiority….afterall…you haven’t confessions ANYTHING like mine. *wink*


I confess…

I Confess...
I'm addicted to celery.
I ran out and was jones for it. Made a special trip to the store...Just. For. Celery

I Confess...
I really, REALLY wish I could fart on command. Thing 1 and Thing 2 would SO be going down! Although I did manage to pull of an impressive sneak attack on Thing 2 the other night. I ROCK! AND I was actually heartwarmed when he sat on me and reciprocated...yes...we're bonding and I loved it!

I Confess...
I woulda snatched a body bald iffin I could .... While playing with Lil Duck earlier in the week, I suggested we stop and run to the store to gather the makings for my Halloween costume. She whirled on me, hand in the air palm out, voice dropping an octive, "NO!", She yelled at me, "We DON'T have the money!". Ummm....EXCUSE ME?! WTH?! YOU dear Princess are 3! How in the hell do you know how much money I do or do not have? Not ever having uttered these words myself, I asked from whom she has heard this. Without missing a beat she answered  the question and returned to her mermaids.
Briefly and simply I explained that in MY house she is only to be concered about KID things and the balance of my checkbook is a MOMMY thing....NOT a kid thing. Then we headed off to the store.

I Confess...
two hours later when Lil Duck yelled, "YOU RUINED MY LIFE! MY FATHER RUINED MY LIFE", it took me 2 full deep breaths and 3 shots of steam to realize she was quoting the Little Mermaid 2. She sure loves her Princesses. I'm thinking someone needs to find this girl an agent.

I Confess...
I found three ONE grey hair. Its my first. *batts eyelashes*

I Confess...
...that last confession was a lie.

I Confess...
I was thinking of putting new boobs on my Christmas list again this year but someone said they thought Santa might be'm rethinking my list. Could explain why I didn't get them. Or I just wasn't naughty enough....

I Confess...
I already have Irishman's 40th birthday planned and booked. BUT I'm terrible at keeping secrets when I'm excited about something. I sorta kinda maybe spilled the beans. Ooops

I Confess...

My heart hurts today...I miss my sister a lot. It doesn't really get any easier with time and every time something new is discovered as the case progresses it rips the healing open again. Raw doesn't even being to describe it.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Madame Duck At Your Service

I read them from time to time; not because I expect them to be some great predictor of my day or my life. I don’t light candles, drink chicken blood or look to them for guidance in how to proceed with my voodoo dolls, all that gets done regardless of how they read.

Sometimes horoscopes make me laugh at the absurdity and often times I’m rolling my eyes to migraine proportions. They are all flowery and nice when really straight and to the point will do. I could do a better job of writing them…
google images
The SCOPE: How you handle the same issue in the morning as opposed to the afternoon could be substantially different.
REDO SCOPE: Drunk vs Sober...pre happy hour vs post is gonna make a huge difference DUNCE. Remember that when tackling that "issue".

The SCOPE: How you manifest your frustration and anger seem to change.
REDO SCOPE: Some days you'll feel like kicking... some days you'll feel the kick back.... of your glock. Channel that frustration and anger baby.

The SCOPE: Here they are, the 2 days you've been looking forward to, whether you knew it or not. Its time for romance and intimacy and lots of it.
REDO SCOPE: Wrap it, sack it and keep poppin those pills. The next 48 hours are what you've waited for for the last 363 days.

The SCOPE: You make an impression wherever you go. Teamwork brings success.
REDO SCOPE: Damn! With a face like that, a pimp is a wise investment

Monday, October 17, 2011

FYL - Meet Sonya, The Belly Charmer

The 3rd week of the Friends You Love BlogHop and I am very honored to be sharing space with Sonya from Belly Charms! I 'met' Sonya a little over a year ago when I found myself curled up in the waiting room of the Nuroscience ER for hours on end awaiting news on my sister. I was posting updates and Sonya actually found me through those. After my sister died, Sonya turned her talents, love and focus into a beautiful bracelet honoring my sister's life, memory and gift of life (she was an organ donor). PLEASE PLEASE check out Sonya's beautiful work! I may be biased a wee bit but I can honestly tell you that she provides beautiful quality craftsmanship, amazing customer service and makes EVERY customer a friend! Thank You Sonya!

Twitter: @Bellycharms

Daffy and I have a special bond that only we can truly understand. And in all honesty I hope I never share it with anyone else.  It is a sister thing for us, but I am very glad our paths crossed online when they did.  It is kind of like one of those friends you talk to only a few times a year, yet never feel like you missed a beat.  

Well I have a perfect little story to share but mine also involves me, as mom, wanting to kick a 1st grader's ass.  Yes I am also my son's Kindergarten class mom, so I am pretty sure this behavior would get me kicked off of the approved volunteer list.

My boys are 4 and 5.  My 4 year old can go from loving to mean as a snake in a split second.  My Kindergartener is always an angel.  He has a kind loving heart and is more likely to cry that act out if somebody pushes him the wrong way.  On my blog I refer to him as Big A.

Big A goes to big boy school now.  It is K-8.....which scared the crap out of me.  Our whole neighborhood goes there, it is one of the top schools in the state and that is actually why we relocated to our neighborhood.  He even rides the bus, which I was totally against because I am a somewhat overprotective mom.

Well last week he discovered a cool game at school where he could get pencils and rocketship erasers for "One Money".  It is actually a vending machine with school supplies in it, but to him if you put money in and something comes is a game.  He took money out of his piggy bank and for about 3 days in a row proudly came home with a new pencil.

Sunday night my husband gave him "4 monies" for the machine.  I told him not to take his money out of his backpack except to buy something.  Well Monday afternoon he comes home from school, runs in daddy's office and shows him his new pencil.  ( I was not there at the time, I was with my 4 year old)  He then told his daddy with a sad face that, " He met another kid and he said he would be his friend if he gave him some monies, but that when he gave the boy the monies that he took them and left.....he was not his friend."

WTH - some punk kid just promised my precious little son that he would be his friend and then stole his 50 cents!!!!  Big A was very bothered by it and that was all of the info he gave to his dad.  I was furious!! I told daddy to not mention it again and that I would press for information later."

So at bedtime I mentioned it to him in my most loving mommy voice, I told him that he did nothing wrong and that the boy was a not nice kid to take his money.  I wanted to know where it happened.  How big was this kid???  I did manage to find out that he was almost to his classroom when he met this kid.  He again looked sad.  I tried to lighten the subject by telling him that maybe the  punk kid just really needed a pencil and had to run and buy it before school started.

He seemed to like this answer but I still had a vision of my Big A standing there, handing this boy his money with the promise of a new friend, and the the boy leaving and taking his money while he just stood there with little tears in his eyes.  He just wanted a new friend.  Did I mention I would love to punch this kid in the nose who hurt my baby's feelings.  He LOVES school and I don't want this to change.

So I told him that he never has to give anyone money to get a friend.  He has lots and lots of friends because he is a nice a funny boy.  "YOU BUY TOYS.  YOU DON'T BUY FRIENDS WITH YOUR MONEY."  We also have a new rule.  He does not take money to school anymore, but on Tuesday and Thursday he stays at school for Karate and PlayBall.  We pick him up and he does not ride the bus.  So on those days we will always have a quarter on us so we can go play the game and get a prize.

Since I am his Kindergarten Class Mom, I immediately emailed his teacher.  The kids are really separated by age, so this kid was actually a bully, mean ass first grader.  She said she would let the first grade teachers know so they could be on the look out.  I am sure my Big A was not the only victim.  

So moral of the story is YOU DON'T BUY YOUR FRIENDS, AND IF YOU HURT MY LITTLE BOYS FEELINGS......well I better leave it at that.  Mean people suck!!  Have a fabulous day and keep your monies in your pocket:)
Who could be mean to him?   Just look at that smile.  He is holding the class friend.  He was student of the week:)

Friends You Love

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Say Cheese, Win Prizes!

"So often as life passes us by, we look to the pictures of our past. The memories that we have created with the ones we love captured by the single click of a camera. Regardless of the time that has spanned since the photo was taken, we can be immediately transported back to that day, that time."
 ~Kristin, Only Parent Chronicles

Ducky and Her Besties of a Lifetime

A picture is worth a thousand words.
~Napoleon Bonaparte

Enter this week - October 9 - 15 -  the Friends You Love Besties Photo contest, sponsored by our friends at Bare Escentuals.

Submit your favorite photo of you and your besties for a chance to win a Bare Escentuals gift pack!

To enter:

Contestants can submit a a photo of themselves with their best friend to

kristin at onlyparentchronicles dot com

Submissions will be accepted 10/9 - 10/15.

Voting will occur 10/16 - 10/20 at Friends You Love
Bare Escentuals has put together a fantastic prize pack for the winner!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Lil Duck Quacks the Pond

Being the mom of a funny kid rocks! And being a blogging mom of a funny kid means I have a place (other than facebook) to share all the hysterical things she says. They ARE funny...because I said they are. Lucky you. Today is the day I decided to gather them into a post. I give you a short persons funnyisms..

Lil Duck: "Mom... I AM the Princess!"
Me: "If you're the princess what does that make me?"
Lil Duck: "um....THE Queen!"   ......I love this kid!
Lil Duck: "MOM! PUT ON YOUR PANTS NOW!!!! I can see your pullup!
Lil Duck: "Mooooooooom! I WANT BALLS AND RETARDS!"
Me: ....when I could breathe again...."You, uh...want what?"
Lil Duck: "Those chocolate candy balls you were eating and retards. Pllllleeeeaaase"
Me: "These? *holding up a box of Whoppers* and ...uh...Sweet Tarts?"
Lil Duck: "YES"
Lil Duck after Irishman cooked us dinner: "I have fire buttocks. Thanks for dinner, Irishman"
I usually  have to wake Lil Duck up in the mornings because our day starts so early. I like singing to her sometimes to acomplish this. One of the songs she frequently asks me to sing to her is You Are My Sunshine. One recent morning I chose that song to sing while rubbing her arm to wake her. It played out like this:

Me: " are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine..."
Her: "NOT. ANY. MORE" ....and she pulled the covers over her head.

The little turd! Of course we both dissolved into giggles and it was a great way to start the day. I love being a mom!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Stress Kills - The Old Lady In Me

google images
Fluffing hair, tucking it back, fluffing hair again, “I look like an old lady!” she huffed.
“Stress has really aged me”, she sighed as she closed the visor mirror in my car and ever so gently shoved the bitch back into place.

“You’re telling me, mom! Stress has aged us all!”, I grinned a little crookedly.

“You especially! With all you’ve been through in the last 18 months……”

I started to agree, then it dawned on me…. “Mom? Did you just tell me I look O L D?”

*gasp*  *hand to chest*  “That’s NOT what I meant!” She ended the exclamation on a chortle-snort.

Sigh….but it has. I know it. I see it reflected. I feel it every morning when I wake up but at least we got a HUGE chuckle out of it and now I have some shit to rib my mom with! *SCORE*

So is the change reversible? How do I combat it without selling my ass to afford all the latest in plastic and cosmetic surgery (we can’t ALL be Demi Moore)?

I hear sex keeps you young. The endorphins released slow the aging process not to mention being on your back helps prevent wrinkles in your face (HONEST! Google it!). Tell me THAT isn’t the most divine way to kill 2 birds with one stone?! #WINNING  You’re welcome.

Laughter. Laughter is also another stress combatant/aging combatant. If I could laugh for 5 minutes for every 1 minute I felt stressed, well, I'd be in a freaking straight jacket strapped to a table. (BUT I'd be on my BACK. #WINNING).

I also get in touch with my inner child. Which is totally different than touching children - THAT is illegal, PSYCHO PERV. I thoroughly enjoy my time with Lil Duck. Being a Mom is awesome!

What are some of the ways you destress?
How do you drown it out?
What keeps you young?

Monday, October 10, 2011

FYL Guest Post - Meet Becca

Friends You Love

Ushering in the second week of the Friends You Love project is Becca from Everyday Life! I love the variety  Becca brings to her blog with her poetry (which is what drew me in initially and keeps me around) not to mention her reviews and giveaways. AND she awesomely shares with anyone how to find and secure product reviews if that's something in which you're interested. I love finding bloggers who actually follow through on helping each other out and share resources. Talking often about her son, sharing the creativity that courses through her heart and mind as well as bringing product reviews to her readers, her blog really DOES encompass Everyday Life. Thanks A Million Becca for sharing in this awesome month of Friendship!
YOU Rock!


I have to say when Daffy asked me to guest blog I was thrilled and honored. It took me all of about a nano second to say yes because well she rocks. Then I thought what can I write about when a light bulb went on and trust me, That doesn't happen often.  I mean seriously, I'm a blond. Anyways I had been working on a poem that I wasn't sure what to do with when POW my answer was guest post. So here goes for your reading pleasure a poem I wrote that is dedicated to all the amazing wonderful people I've met online and in the blog world. You know you all mean the world to me.

I never thought it could happen
I never thought it could be
but with a single key stroke
I found a friend to me
I've never seen your face
and you're voice I've never heard
but your the one I tell me secrets to
the one my deepest hurt.
with you I can be myself
I can say how I feel
and know that you will
listen and never be untrue
people may laugh and say it's
not real that you
can't find true friendship
in a world so filled with lies
but yet I feel connected
that a me is finally a we
so to you my online friend
though we may never meet
you are to me
what : is to )
what x is to o
What < is to 3
you are my other half

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Simply Charmed - Review/Giveaway

Summer Fun isn't over yet...or doesn't have to be even though 40 degree weather makes it a bit cold for bikinis!

I don't know why, but these adorable wine charms make me think of Sandra Dee from Grease. Grab your best girls, the Simply Charmed Magnetic Wine Charms and some wine! Pop Grease in the player and end the night with a pajama clad pillow fight and writing letters to your pen pals in prison the army far away. Or just gab, drink wine and gab some more.

Handcrafted and amazingly tough, the magnetic wine charms stick securely to your wine glass (no stem fumbling), mug or jug (depending on your stress level). No worries about keeping track of which lipstick stain is yours; You've Been Charmed! A perfect gift for yourself, your hostess for those upcoming holiday parties or your bestie. You'll find lots of themes to choose from. I'm all about unique gifts and I love these! Not to mention I can stick them up on the side of my fridge and the magnets will hold until I need them.

No losing them in drawers.
No forgetting which drawer I stashed them in!
No risk of Lil Duck feeding them to the dog!

Simply Charmed is one of our awesome Friends You Love sponsors and providing a reader with their own set of charms to help us celebrate Friendships this month!
To Win These (mandatory entry): Visit Simply Charmed and leave a comment telling me which collection is your favorite.

Extra Entries: choose one or all of them. Just be sure to leave a separate entry for each one.

Like Simply Charmed on FACEBOOK

Follow Simply Charmed on TWITTER

Grab my new button for your blog

Be a BCC GFC follower

Follow me on TWITTER

Subscribe (and confirm) to my blog via email

Tweet the giveaway once per day for an extra entry each day. Leave a comment with the tweet profile.

#WIN Magnetic Wine Charms from @wineswithcharms ends 10/16
@batcrapcrazy #FYL

*Entries accepted until 11:59pm CST 10/16/11. The winner will be drawn using and is open to US Residents at least 18 years of age.

**be sure to leave your email with at least one entry comment if it is not enabled on your profile for notification purposes. If I am unable to notify the winner, a new winner will be randomly drawn**

***I was provided product for the purpose of the review but received no financial compensation for my opinion. All opinions expressed are my own and were not swayed by the receipt of product**

Friday, October 7, 2011

Confession - Go On, Feel Superior

Confessional Friday

Linking up with Mamarazzi and going the TMI route! What better way to end the week and start the weekend by judging someone’s confessions and outclicking with a feeling of superiority….afterall…you haven’t confessions ANYTHING like mine. *wink*


I confess…

I Confess….
I have a thing for paper/notebooks/journals. Cute, pretty, unique, chic….I see, I buy. (I’m starting off lame just to lure you in…they get better, I promise).

I Confess…
I’m really grateful Irishman has a chiropractic degree even though he decided to be a Controller. He’s constantly fixing my ridunkulous upper back and neck issues from the job. God Bless the Man’s Hands! (and his other amazing body parts *grin*)

I Confess…
No one ever told me nipple hairs were part of aging! PLUCK THAT NOISE! *gag*

I Confess…
I like doing laundry. I like the order of folding and matching and pressing out wrinkles. And I love the smell of the laundry soap. <-- OCD?

I Confess…
I do not have what it takes anymore to work Special SPECIAL education at the elementary level. I’m NOT okay with excessive body fluids regardless of their color. I’m NOT okay with violence failing to be addressed by administration. I’m NOT okay with a child routinely exposing himself to the staff and other children in the room and the administration/parents not seemingly overly concerned.

I Confess…
I cannot afford COBRA insurance BUT I am willing to sell ALL my possessions to make it happen. I have jewelry, a wedding dress, furniture and blood I can sell. I’m Serious. Email me. I also have a kidney I’ll part with. NOT. EVEN. KIDDING.

I Confess…
I am supremely relieved I had a last minute “oops I gotta pee” moment when last making out with Irishman (yes we do that, you should to…err…not with him…but…eh…you know what I mean) because I found an errant piece of toilet paper that got stuck in my quack. HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN? Seriously?! I would NEVER have lived that down. Like NEVER! He STILL talks about me kicking him in the side of the head *eyeroll* Some people are SO sensitive.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Paint Your Competence

MSN had something on their main page the other day about women looking more competent when they wear make up (story link). Um...sure.... when you consider who the study was conducted by its eyeroll-worthy and makes me wonder why they didn't just give the employees a bonus instead of wasting money on something so...well...retarded.

google images

google images
Does that look Competent? Heh....

Maybe, could be possibly I'm a little offended. I'm not a big makeup wearer; a little power to hold down the shine a swipe or two of mascara and chap stick. Evidently THAT makes me look stupid?! Lemme tell ya peeps, it doesn't matter if I expertly paint myself up to Emmy award status, iffin I look stupid - I. LOOK. STOOPID.

Take for instance the day I stepped off the elevator (which I rarely take anyway - shoulda been my 1st clue), tripped over nothing, face planted and spilled my coffee all over the hallway all before 7:00am.  I'm SURE my face screamed competence due to the makeup *eyeroll* while the rest of me laid there to the applause of Sophomores.

I DO occasionally swipe a little more warpaint than my daily standard. I'm just not going spend an hour on my face (if you need it, by all means - please). I highly doubt a swipe of eyeshadow and someone is going to say "Shizam! Look at her eyes! Now THERE's a gal that can balance the national budget!", or take one glance at my juicy lip gloss and think, "Hot Damn! Those glossy lips must mean she can solve this physics conundrum."  Blush isn't going to scream "Her cheeks! Her cheeks! A rubix cube is mere child's play for this classy chick." And lash lengthening luscious mascara isn't going to convey "Good Lord that woman is a minx in the bedroom! We have sooooo much to learn from her!" maybe all those things ARE true but I'm just not buying that my makeup choices equate competence. I mean, I have it on today and STILL had to use spell check. Under estimate my competance and my foot in your ass and a swift throat punch will say so much more than my Berry Berry Licious Eyeshadow.

What's your take? Is make up the visual meter read for competence? *snort*

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

GNO not to be confused with GNYO

It just happened to work out that on the eve of falling into celebrating friendships with the Friends You Love blog and the rest of y’all in this social media mayhem, a few of my own gals locally had a night out planned.
It has been eons since I laughed that much and that hard and had that much fun (with so little alcohol). We didn't bar hop, we didn’t ‘club it up’ and our night ended by midnight. <-- can you say O L D? Do it and I’ll shin kick you with my orthotics!

I’m pretty sure we need to change our outings from Girls Night Out to Ladies Night at the very least. We aren’t GIRLS anymore. It also happened to be Homecoming for several high schools in the area and many chose the same restaurant for their dinner dates.

OH MY HELL IS THERE A SHORTAGE ON FABRIC AND THREAD?! I mean, I know the economy is bad and people are struggling but a TUBE SOCK has a higher thread count than what most of these GIRLS were wearing. I’m not a prude and at 32 don’t really think I’m THAT old. SHUTIT. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to slap the15 yr old Easter Egg Hoochies teetering in streetwalker heels or their Mammas. I digress…
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The name change.

As women often do, our group made rapid hat switches over the course of our 3 hour dinner which means we could never BeDazzle tshirts or crochet sweater vests for our little group. That shit would get expensive!

We started out just catching up and sharing kid/mom stories and updates: MOMS

Then we moved to attorney comparisons, court room laughables, current custody laws, compared notes and marveled over some of the area Judges and their lippy bench rulings (way to slap some ass Judge!):  
DIVORCED WIVES CLUB <--complete with cocktails at this point

On to dating follies, getting back in the game, insecurities, what its like not being in dysfunctional abusive relationships, lack of time & energy and that morphed into purposely embarrassing the waiter as he had a penchant for approaching the table right about the time someone said, penis, orgasm, power to the vagina (<--that woulda been me) and masturbate, among other topics. THEN we found out he was only 19:
  COUGARS (<-- I refuse ownership of that one)

Interestingly enough we did NOT manbash, we DID support talk and resource share (in the way of Passions vs Eden Fantasys and which was the best vibrator for the money), we lifted, commended, commiserated and rolled with laughter in our guttural thoughts the entire excursion.: GIRLFRIENDS

I even took on the role of FORKING THE LIGHT** cover (refer to picture) as though dinging the “ROUNDS” bell, every time someone delivered a great zinger, hilariously raunchy comment or when we were all wheezing with laughter. Afterall, SOMEONE had to jolt some air back into us:
ROUND GIRL at UFC FIGHT <-- okay…thats probably
just MY hat
fantasy hat*ahem* Irishman? You reading this post?!…justsayin
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***action in which one takes said Fork and bangs the bottom of the light fixture so that is resonates with a long gong-like sound and subsequently bellows CHA-CHING (<-- as opposed to ROUND 1,2, 3... because its my thing and I make the rules)

Monday, October 3, 2011

the power of girlfriends - Meet Cyn

the power of girlfriends…
(google images)
when i opened the email from daffy asking me if i would like to be featured on her kickass blog i had to think about it for like half a nano-second before i decided a big hell yeah.

in all seriousness – i am super honored.

no really, i am -- ask her!

i gushed like a beauty pagent winner all over her email.
(google images)

then i sat down to write this…

not once…

not twice…

not even three times…

i have sat in this exact spot every night for a week trying to make the perfect post.  (hey this is the first time i have ever been asked to do anything like this – i wanted it to be good and shit!)

but then i thought – why am i stressing?

this is supposed to be about my friendships with my girls and if my girls know anything about me – it is that i am far from perfect. 
(google images)
and that is the beauty of our girlie friendships in general – finding galpals who you gel with, who *get you*, and who accept you; imperfections and all.  and when you find these chicas – you best hold on for dear fucking life and never let go! 

especially in a society that seems hellbent on pitting women against one another???  something i will never understand???
(google images)
women should unite and rule this planet.

c’mon – we so could!

:smug smile:

moving along from world domination…

women have a bond that men will never understand because men never open themselves up to one another like we do.  it tests their manhood to some level and women just don’t give a shit.  we love each other and don’t flippin’ care who knows it! 

and it is out of that love for one another that…

only women will -- give ourselves silly nicknames – case in point – i am cindy lou & my bestie is angela lou – it has always been that way and always will.  even my mom calls her that.

only women will -- do the whole bridesmaid thing -- which i am sorry to say sucks ass – and only for my girls am i willing to endure such torture.  (i lack the bride/wedding gene?)

(had to get some sex & the city in – google images)
only women will -- spend hours shopping together, on the phone, eating, discussing what to wear, and go out that night all in the same day and not tire of one another.

only women will -- ask each other if they look fat – and mainly because they know that any real friend will say “of course not, you look hot!”.

only women will -- share undergarments – and don’t lie – at least once in your life you have borrowed a bra from a friend!

only women will -- diss a man they have never met simply on the word from a friend that he is a raging asshole.

only women will -- cry in front of one another and not be deemed as weak; quite the opposite actually.

only women will -- take a bajillion photos of their friends in every scenario possible including the infamous self-photo (a personal fave of mine!)

bottom line: some of the best times in my life have been spent in the company of women.
our human/female experiences is what unites us – it is what defines us and women feed upon what defines us.

my friends have seen me through…

love lost and refound, three babies, a divorce, wealth, poverty, addiction, skinny, fat, ugly, pretty, great hair, bad haircuts, bad dye-jobs, that reallllly bad dye-job, death, achievements, failures, rock bottom, being a great friend, being a shitty friend, jealousy, slight insanity, brilliance, shopping, lunch out, dinner out, drinks out, the perfect outfit, wardrobe malfunctions, laughs, cries, anger, happiness, bliss, and that one time i fell off the face of the earth for a couple of years. (true story – all of it)

(google images)
i have said this many times  and i firmly believe that it is in our brightest and darkest moments that we find out who our true friends are… and i know without a doubt that mine would be there for me in a new york minute, no matter what time of day or night, with a kleenex, tampon, shovel to bury the body, getaway car, cash, food, clothing, shoulder to cry on, ear to listen, and a heart to truly care if i needed it.

and only as women can we say that.

and that is what makes our female friendships so unique and amazing.

(intentional misspelling of testes – I hope?  google images)
so hug your best friend, bestie, bff, pals, buddies, cohorts, sidekicks, cronies, chicas, girls, women, bitches – whatever you call her/them – a little tighter the next time ya hang out.  and make a plan to hang out if you haven’t!

your life would be soooo fucking boring without them and you know it!

this is dedicated to trisha, steph, marie, angela, and liisa – my absolute best friends throughout my life who have made me who i am and who have loved me in my darkest most fucked up moments along with my brightest!
i love u!

on a side note: thanks to writing this – i looked for and found (thank you facebook) my very first real friend, trisha,  who i spent every free minute with all through junior high school.  and can you imagine my surprise when i found out that 26 years later we ultimately ended up living in the same state!?!?!
it was so obviously fate - so thank you daffy!

Friends You Love

I was going to start the post with an introduction for Cyn, The Purple Goddess, but after reading it she really doesn't need one. I didn't want to take away from what is totally a fantastic post and a phenomenal way to kick off the Friends You Love month long festivities and celebration of friendship! Thank YOU, Cyn!

Today is the first blog hop for Friends You Love! This is where we encourage you to reach out and touch someone to your followers, or twitter friend, etc... and ask them to guest post on your blog.  All the blog hoppers will be entered to win a prize from EyeDews! **Helltothayes**
Please go check her out at The Purple Goddess; peruse her wonderful photography and don't miss the Misadventures of a Chunky Goddess!!

the purple goddess