We’ll start with the minor…ease you into it (stick around its TOTALLY worth the read). I’ve already come to grips with the fact that I will not be receiving the Mother of The Year Award for the Third year in a row and I’m perfectly okay with this. I know I am above this award; so far above that they don’t even have awards for the awesomeness that is defined by my parenting prowess!
So on our first full week of summer vacay last week Lil Duck and I take advantage of the beautiful humidity free weather and hit the zoo early one morning. It was a spur of the moment idea so I’m scrambling to pack a quick backpack of necessities because all perfect parents would’ve packed it the night before and had it sitting by the door ready to depart first thing in the morning. That’s what you would have done, right? *snort*
Lil Duck was occupying herself flitting around getting into whatever she could. Fast forward to the eatery at the zoo and lunch time. I pull out the small bottle of hand sanitizer and squeeze a dollop onto my hand in preparation of ridding germs from both myself and Lil Duck only it felt a little weird. Slick, silky, soft, smooth, odorless….very much lacking that strong burn your nose alcoholic fragrance that immediately relaxes germaphobes such as myself. Closer inspection reveals the bottle to be one said Astroglide NOT the travel size Hand Sanitizer I thought it to be when I snatched it off the dresser in the bedroom. Seems a certain little short person was playing in drawers she shouldn’t have been. #MOMFAIL –Minor
Remember back a few weeks I did a review for Eden Fantasys? Great review right? I thought so too…thanks! The product box sat on the dresser for quite a looong time. Meh…I’m lazy and she’s 2…what of it? Aaaaand the vibrator may or may not have sat on the dresser for awhile as well.*shrug* I don’t make a big deal out of things and for the most part her interest was short lived. She did ask incessantly for a short period of time what it was. I’m usually fairly quick on my feet, I know you find this surprising, so I did what all good parents do. I lied.
“It’s a dog toy, for Molly”
This totally satisfied her and she only asked 4,321 more times before it COMPLETELY satisfied her. It wasn’t because I put the damn thing away somewhere. That would’ve taken effort on my part, duh. So one morning I’m in her room cleaning out her closet and I hear, “MOM! I gave Molly her toy! Come here and see!”
I walk into the living room with a little something tickling the back of my brain but not sure why or what it is I’m supposed to be remembering and am not UNTIL I round the corner and there stands Lil Duck PROUDLY pointing to the floor in front of the dog where the bright pink vibrator lays.
“See mom!”, she says as she bends down and waves it in the dog’s face who looks painfully confused, “Play Molly! Here’s your toy!”
#MOMFAIL - MAJOR