Thursday, December 30, 2010

SaS- Pomegranate Bubblies

Think Tank Momma



Pomegranate Bubblies

1 Bottle of Barefoot brand  Moscato Spumante Bubbly
1 Bottle of Barefoot brand Sweet Red wine
mix equal parts of both wines
add a pinch of Pomegranate seeds to each drink as a topper
and serve chilled


Super easy! SUPER Budget friendly and very very yummy! If you like Sangria you're going to LOVE this! Is it perfect as is or experiment with additions such as a splash of orange juice or wedges of different fruits...and it is just as yummy without the pomegranate seeds if you want to simplify the preparation (or you're lazy like me)


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Stick it to the New Year

Rock in the New Year and hook up with a hot chick! That One Mom....shizam! Bam! Feed the addiction...Duckalicious Style.....



Only Parent Chronicles



Post Its New Year Resolutions Style








Thursday, December 23, 2010

Last Minute Gift Suggestions - SUPER CHEAP


Christmas Gift Suggestions:

To your enemy: Forgiveness

To an Opponent: Tolerance

To A Friend: Your Heart

To A Customer: Service

To All: Charity

To Every Child: A Good Example

To Yourself: Respect

Monday, December 20, 2010

Convos From the Hood Spin Off

Encouragement, YES!


I’ve been tweeting quotes from the movie Couples Retreat today. It brings a smile to my face…funny movie if you haven’t seen it. I’m stuck on the encouragement one…only three days to this work week and then begins a much needed sanity break. You all are bitching about having your kids home for Christmas break  (what?! I see you on Twitter and FB, don't deny it!) and I CAN NOT WAIT to be done with them. Seriously…its been a HUGE test of willpower not to staple, duct tape, super glue or hell even safety pin these scab eaters and booger pickers to the bulletin boards and call it a day.

I put a temporary suspension on Convos From The Hood because the 7th graders were just plain stupid and then some asshat plucked my feathers and plopped me into the 3rd grade. ASSTASTIC!

I *DO* have some convo goodies from the faculty lunch room though. Sit back and enjoy…
------------------------------------
Mrs. B to Me: “OOOh gurl! Look at your lunch. Always so healthy…yogurt, apple, diet coke…mmmhmmm…must be how you keep your figure!”

Me: “I have to do this. I drink all my calories.”

Mrs. B: “…*hiccup*…gurl!...you too?”

-----------------------------------

The playas: Nessie- proverbial spinster school marm and Mr. Sweatervest…the name says it all. He probably has like 40 cats.

Nessie: I got out of recess duty and bus duty because the temperature changes make me sick. Inside its warm…outside its cold. I just can’t walk outside anymore, so I had to cut back how much I eat.

Me: So…you eat 4 cookies instead of 6? At a time?

*blink * blink*

Mr. Sweatervest (pointedly ignoring me): Nessie…do you have a humidifier? Maybe a humidifier would help.

Nessie: Well once my nose starts running it like to never stops and that’s what makes me sick.
-----------------------------------------

Nessie: Mr. Sweatervest, Deontae is in the hall waiting on you.

MSV: I’m not even going to speak to him. Yesterday he was throwing chairs! Standing on a desk throwing chairs. So I called his mother. She yelled at me for calling her and banged the phone down. She’s on that crack…that pipe…that crack cocaine you know. Then today she calls back for more information. She wants to know if he was actually throwing chairs or if maybe he just outgrew the chair.


Three days til Christmas break!

ENCOURAGEMENT, YES!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Mission Complete -Go Stick It

It's the Holidays let's hook up with a hot chick! That One Mom....shizam! HO HO HO! Feed the addiction...Duckalicious Style.....



Only Parent Chronicles






Peace out My Quackers....now, Go Stick It!


Monday, December 13, 2010

I'm Easy...er I like Easy So Should You!

So I mentioned last week that I had a little sumptin sumptin special for my Quackers. Pond capacity is over the 500 mark which frankly makes me shake my tail feathers!


So here’s what I have for you. Your very own comedy filled, laughter laden book of short stories. A copy of Chelsea Handler’s My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands.

We could all use a little spice in life even if we are living vicariously through someone else…and if you aren’t? Well…go shake yo tail feathers with yo badass self and then come tell me about it. I'll open some wine....


about the book:...."In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning."

How to win? Super Easy…cause who doesn’t like easy?!

Enter: Be a Quacker
afterall we are celebrating YOU.
Stands to reason only Quackers are eligible for the goods.
(just leave a comment telling me you're a Quacker)

Extra Entries: follow me on twitter @daffybccrazy
(leave a separate comment telling me so)

  • Follow @surferwife on twitter cause she has the inside scoop with this awesome author (leave a separate comment telling me you did this then tweet a message to her - tell her the Duck sent you)
Leave me a comment telling me why YOU are so awesome
(separate comment for this)

  Leave me a comment telling me why you think I am so awesome
(separate comment for this)

  
  
That’s It! VIOLA
Comments close Friday December 17 at 10cst. I will notify winner via email. Be sure you either include your email with one of your entries or ensure your email is enabled in your profile.


  
**I received no compensation, money, gifts, sexual favors etc for this. I am giving it away of my own accord. I bought it, I will ship it…make those comments count people!**



Thursday, December 9, 2010

WHITE HOT MMMMMMM GOOD -SAS

Think Tank Momma

HOLIDAY LIBATIONS!
WHITE PEPPERMINT HOT COCOA

1 CUP WHOLE MILK
 (could use chocolate milk if you wanted)
1/2 CUP WHITE CHOCOLATE CHIPS
1/2 TSP PEPPERMINT EXTRACT


IN A SMALLSAUCE PAN OVER MEDIUM HEAT,
 HEAT THE MILK UNTIL HOT BUT NOT BOILING.
WHISK IN THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND PEPPERMINT EXTRACT.
 WHISK UNTIL COMPELTELY SMOOTH.
THEN ENJOY

START TO FINISH: 5 MINUTES
SERVES 1

Link up with Adrienzgirl at Think Tank Momma for more amazing drink ideas or to share your own. Plus enter to win a special holiday giveaway! DO IT! Tell her the Duck sent you!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Get Hammered - Stick It

It's time for the Duck to hook up with a hot chick! That One Mom....shizam! Bam! Feed the addiction...Duckalicious Style.....


Only Parent Chronicles



 Some great advice for the day the week the month LIFE
...had to throw a traffic one in...because...I just did...





Only an UNLIMITED number of shopping days left in this lifetime!
What?! Shopping isn't limited to the Holiday Season...DUH!



Peace out My Quackers....now, Go Stick It!

Monday, December 6, 2010

5 Tips:Holiday Shopping Duckalicious Style

1. Can’t Drink and Drive so Chocolate and Drive…..enough said


OR

Don’t be the driver and throw back shots at every new location. Just be sure you’re spending with someone else’s credit card. Drunk doesn’t equal budget friendly. Personally I prefer the chocolate route but that might be because I prefer the driver’s seat.If you want to make your own chocolate and eat them while you are driving, check out online chocolate making classes that can teach you how to make delicious truffles perfect for driving around.


2. Shop with a Smile – IT IS CHRISTMAS!
The season of giving, of love, of hope of peace. If you want to be an ASSHOLE stay home and stalk blogs shop on line.

Saturday night during my 6 hour SHOPTILWEDROPSTUFFEDOURFACESWITHCHOCOLATE marathon session with Sista, I jumped into a line at Toys R Us and when I reached the young cashier she looked beat. “Ready to go home?” I asked with a smile and she burst into to tears. She could barely choke out “People are so mean at Christmas”. Really?! REALLY?! And you’re effn buying gifts for your kids?! What is wrong with people? I wanted to give the poor thing a hug but the best I could do was assure her that her makeup wasn’t running down her face.

3. Carry your own toilet paper –
No matter how many stalls, I will ALWAYS pick the ONE with out any tp. With the increased foot traffic of the holiday bargain seekers, the odds have exponentially increased. As have the germs. *gack* With my own stash I can not only cover the seat, create my own runway in and out of the bathroom but also cover my ass! WIPE IT GIRL!

4. and 5. Employ the Buddy System
It is much more fun to spend someone else’s money with someone. The sensible budget savvy friend…leave your kids with! Grab the one that will encourage you to splurge on that great find for yourself! You’ll be relaxed knowing your kids are well cared for.

Part 2: With a buddy it also means there is someone with which to make fun of other shoppers because you KNOW the people of Walmart migrate beyond WallyWorld. Come on now…you know you do it! Its not nearly as fun doing it alone. You come off looking like the loon yourself…walking around muttering, pointing and laughing. Although the hidden benefit is that others give you a wide berth in which to do your shopping. NO MORE CROWDS. Meh...maybe thats just me....but I don't do crowds well so it works....

Happy Spending! Tis the season to GIVE!



Thursday, December 2, 2010

Meh...Whatup Duck?!

It has been over a week since I’ve posted anything (other than the PINT) and that really is unlike me. You might wonder what the dealio is…or not. Probably not. One less blog in your reader to keep up with. Life is busy…it’s the holiday season OR you don’t celebrate anything OR you’re a scrooge OR you have a life and rarely get to Blogonia anymore and hadn’t noticed. Busy is busy is busy….or whatever….moving on….

My days recently have been wrought with - well I'm always up for sharing my faceplants into stupid with you so lets explore my moments... moments such as Monday night when I was attempting to open a much needed (and deserved) bottle of wine and my hand slipped. I punched myself square in the chest. When I finally recovered from my self induced chest compression I again was void of oxygen and flat on the floor snorting and wheezing with laughter. WHO DOES THAT?

Tuesday? *sigh* Tuesday….I went to the front office at work to use the staff bathroom (as now I am in an elementary school and while it is a bit cleaner than the high school I was previously in, I am MUCH taller than these ankle biters and I’m not coping THAT much of a squat to pee). Somehow in my stupor I totally missed the toilet seat when sitting down and fell face first into the wall next to the toilet. Damn near ripped the toilet paper holder right off the wall. And of course I exclaimed “WELL SHIT” just as I body slammed into the wall. Might I remind you at this point that this restroom is located IN THE FRONT OFFICE. Everyone heard the body slam, probably saw the wall shake, caught my exclamation and then the snorting and wheezing and laugher that followed. I emerged with tears streaming and gulping back guffaws. No doubt they think I am a lunatic. That was Tuesday.

Wednesday…ahh yes…Wednesday….do I even WANT to admit to this shit? Wednesday I am backing Harriet out of the garage (my Honda) and go to close the automatic garagedoor. Naturally I grab the tube of cherry Vaseline, aim it at the door opening and squeeze…..not once….not TWICE but THREE EFFN TIMES! Before it dawns on me that I do not actually have the opener control in my hand. With a huff and a sigh I set it back on the consol and flip my turn signal on and wait. I’ll let that sink in…..

Today is Thursday. Today is trash day in my hood. I set my own barrels out which means I choose the placement at the end of the driveway. I set them out and approximately 15 minutes later leave for work. It is amazing that within that 15 minute span I completely FORGET where I have placed them at the end of the driveway. Yes….oh yes….I did nearly take out my own trash barrels. *hangs head in shame*

I think I am in dire need of a vacay….mental…physical…emotional…every kinda vacay a Duck can take. I am hoping to find some time to make the rounds. I DO miss reading your blogs. However I would like to take this lucid moment to apologize if my comments are incoherent.

That is all. Wish me luck for making it to the end of the week. I think I can....I think I can...I think I can....meh...but do I wanna????!!!