Monday, May 10, 2010

Oh yes, I SMASHED It! - Memoir Monday

It's true, it's real and its mine. Own your memories people! Plunk it out, hit up Big T for a linky-winky, grab the button and you're set.
Bye Bye Birdie

Ask the others in my family and they will tell you I am was a typical middle child. Very often our parents will tell my sisters things twice but completely forget to tell me. There may be something subconscious in this. I try not to probe such thoughts too deeply.

I always got blamed for everything even if I didn’t do it. Something missing? Daffy has it. Something broken? Daffy did it. Something smells? It’s Daffy. For instance there was this time I was blamed for my younger Sista falling down a flight of stairs; and by falling I mean one minute she was at the top and the next she was rolling over and under and over along with a rolled up sleeping bag. She eventually smacked the wall at the bottom of the stairs. She was fine and I certainly had NOT pushed her. What does everyone else know? They weren’t there and really she was way too young for her memory to be accurate anyway (shutit Sista! You KNOW I’m right). She only thinks I pushed her because that’s what our mother told her. *eye roll*

There is this one time though that I will totally take credit for. (credit, not blame, because it was funny). We had a HUGE oak tree in the center of our backyard. So big that I was sure if I could actually climb all the way to the top I might find Oz. Nestled at the base was a brilliant blue robin egg. Little Sista gingerly picked it up and danced around the yard, sunbeams bouncing off her pretty auburn hair. (don’t worry, here’s the good part). Daffy, upon seeing the perfect opportunity to make younger Sista scream, pranced over and feigned interest in the wee little egg. Quickly, deftly, with great skill and smooth ninja like moves Daffy smashed that egg in the palm of Sista’s hand all while laughing and telling Sista she had dead baby bird guts dripping through her fingers. *cue hysterics* Like always, the whining tattle tale little Sista went running to Mommy while the mean sister that I was am acquired grass stains from writhing on the ground with laughter.

Before you cry fowl (oh, yes I did….I went there) I wasn’t always so mean to my sista and she certainly was NOT traumatized for life no matter what she says.

33 comments:

singedwingangel said...

Daffy!!! I am appalled!!! I mean tormenting the sister is given but what did the poor wittle bird egg ever do to you. No j/k j/k

Mrsblogalot said...

'Cry fowl' Nice... I'd believe you any day Mid Kid!

And I always wanted sisters. Just look at all the fun I missed out on....(-:

Moooooog35 said...

Weird coincidence, but I did that SAME thing to my son this weekend.

Hysterical.

JoeyRes said...

I'm with Angel - I feel bad for the poor widdle baby birdie!

The Empress said...

Daffy...tell me it isn't so. I just couldn't bear it....
That's alright, I'll pretend I didn't just read that.

There, better now.

Have a great Monday!

Coffeypot said...

As a boy, me and my buddies use to boiled them in pee. But we didn't eat them. That's what little brothers and sisters were for.

We had our Boy Scout camping kits. Accidentally found the eggs in a nest high up in a tree. Relieved the mother and father of the need to hunt for worms and bugs and decided to boil them...but where to get water?

Then my little brother and his little sister came along and we played restaurant. He still wont let me fix him anything to eat.

Salt said...

You middle kids are CAH-RAZY!!! ;)

Two Normal Moms said...

I never fail to be amazed and amused by the things young siblings will do to each other!! Of course, I was raised an only child... so it was often shock and awe to watch my friends and their siblings.

Ally

WhisperingWriter said...

It's okay, I'm an only child and I wasn't so angelic either.

Quirkyloon said...

Two things:

Where were you when I needed somebody to blame?

And..

I wish I had sister just like you.

*grin*

(Then I would have somebody to blame, eh?)

Barb said...

I'm totally gonna hafta use that one on my little sis. Now, how to get a robin egg into her hands......

Shamrock said...

Yes, Daffy I too am an only child my parents often spoke of this older person who must of come to our house often I believed they called her the milk man from mexico's daughter. But I wouldn't know anything about that.
You know paybacks are hell I do watch your child everyday!!!! :)
That poor baby bird! That was sooo traumatizing! Now that I think about it you did get blamed for everything and you think it's because you are the middle child when in all reality it was part of my evil plan!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH

kate said...

Rat bastard little sisters...mine always used to get me in trouble for stuff that I totally didn't do...well, might have done, but totally didn't do anything as bad as she said that I did...probably.

Shell said...

I was blamed for everything, too. Even when my older brother did something awful *I* should have known better. WTH?

Holy Hannah said...

That's an awesome story! Makes me want to have a little sister, maybe I will just have to do stuff like that to my kids instead. I am paying for therapy anyway right? ~ Stephanie

MiMi said...

Oh holy egg yolks, that's AWESOME. I'm a middle child too. We rock, don't we? You are my hero!

The Blue Zoo said...

I thought it was only the oldest sisters who were mean! =)

Girl, we would have been best buds always picking on our sisters when we were little! Can you just imagine the stuff we could have come up with together!

Momma Fargo said...

You are a killah! I am gasping in shock. I didn't think people shit in their own neighborhood...you know, kill one of their own. Hmm. Guess I will have to rethink that theory.

Erin said...

I was very bossy and mean to my younger brothers. Not physically mean, but verbally, apparently.

DAFFY DID IT! LOL

June said...

Way to go Duck. Sounds like something I might have done... but to my older sister (not bigger :) I loved to make her cry.

Busted Kate said...

Excellent. Well played, madam, well played!

One time I accidently smacked my younger brother in the head while we were playing. My parents chewed me out so bad, I went to sit on the front porch to cry. Someone saw me doing this, and called the police! Here comes the police to investigate some little girl who was clearly neglected/abused... but really was just a big cry baby (and perhaps not terribly well supervised?). Super awkward because my father was also a police officer for the same department!

Jewels Diva® said...

Ah, the middle child.

Jan Brady syndrome!!!!

That's what I call it.

Marsha was the prettiest, Cindy was the cutest, and stuck in the middle was Jan.

No one gave a crap and blamed it all on her.

Bugger Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, what about Daffy, Daffy, Daffy!!!!

McGillicutty said...

Oh lord... i'm the youngest and i'm here to tell you middle sista's are the worst!!! great story though!!! heehee.

Tracie said...

I always whined about wanting a sister. Now I'm glad I didn't have one.

Danielle said...

That sounds like something I would have done if I had a sister. Thank god I didn't.

carissajaded said...

BAHAHAHA that is great. I made my sister eat a lot of things.. but I never got the opportunity to smash an egg in her palm.. pure genius!

Joann Mannix said...

You know I have to be sad for the birdie.

Okay, now I'm done because I, too, was the middle child, so I get it. But get this, I had 3 older brothers and 3 younger sisters. Talk about neglect and getting blamed!

I understand.

Meeko Fabulous said...

I'm the middle child too. As far as I'm concerned putting up with my BS is the least the other two could do.

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

Oh man....now if that were a Duck egg I bet this story would be muy differente!!

Aunt Juicebox said...

I also got blamed for everything. However, I had this one friend who was younger than me, and I would blame stuff on HER. She never ratted me out. I wonder where she is now....

leigh said...

I was the little sister being traumatized by my older brother. True story...I was sick. I had mono. I had been in the hospital for a week and when I arrived home I was laying on the couch like a dead fish. I heard my mother in the kitchen scolding my older brother for not welcoming me home. He promptly walked in, sat on my head, farted, and said "Welcome home!" as he walked away.

Me and your sister should hang out.

Pat said...

Did you ever see the movie, "The Bad Seed"? Did they base that on YOUR childhood? Just wondering. Smashed bird egg, indeed!

Rebecca said...

That egg story is awesome...I wish I'd thought of that (as the older sibling)...my sister always complains that she had the worst as the middle child...I just think you "middles" like to whine!!! ;)