Tuesday, April 6, 2010

GWA - Whistling Boobies

Think Tank Momma

Have a few words you'd like to share? Give a holla to Adrienzgirl at Think Tank Momma. You can link up with the rest of us thankless Thankful folk and we'll share in the therapeutic cleansing ritual of giving thanks. Let us begin....


Dear Emotionally Stunted Dumbass Student:

Thank you for demonstrating the vast range of your whistling skill set. It was quite impressive listening to Pop Goes The Weasel for 25 minutes. Who needs reading, math and problem solving skills? Whistling will open many doors for you.

Here’s the thing kid….if you don’t knock that shit off Imma rippin your ‘whistle’ right off your face and shoving it in your ear!

Thankyouforknockingthatshitoff
Duck With Wicked Fast Hands



Dearest Victoria’s Secret Fitting Room Attendant:

I have had boobs longer than you have been alive. I do not need a fitting from you. I did not really need a 40DD….its called a joke. I did not truly try on the thong I took into the fitting room with me, please pick your chin up off the floor. AND just for the record, my name is not really Puddin and I honestly don’t give a flyin shart that your young perky boob self is named Ashley.

Help Someone Who Needs It
The Old Ass Duck

Want more of me? You can also find me posting HERE  today at Lessons Learned . A million thanks to Working Mommy for sharing her blog today.

47 comments:

ScoMan said...

The whistler could no doubt land a position as my coworker and annoy the effin shit out of me for 8 hours a day.

Seriously, I had no coworkers that whistled, then a new guy started and he whistled a lot.. and now they're all doing it.

One day it's just going to be me and bodies.

Dual Mom said...

In his ear? You're being too kind...I'd be shoving that whistle maker straight where the sun don't shine.

Christina Lee said...

As a FORMER teacher (I got the hell out of DODGE as fast as I could run), I SO appreciate the whistler. Thx for making me laugh!

Joann Mannix said...

Oh, I had one of those perky boobed girls try to come IN the fitting room with me. Go fit yourself, honey. I don't want you judging me as I take off my shirt in front of your perky-ass self. On 2nd thought, maybe, I should have let her in. I should have ripped off my shirt and said, "This is what your taa-taa's will look like in 15 years, puddin'. Pop out some babies, let the gnaw a while and your taa-taa's will reach the ground, too. Enjoy your perkies while you have them. It goes by way too fast."

I guarantee she wouldn't ask anyone again for a fitting.

Mrsblogalot said...

There should be laws against those Victoria Secret women. And having to wear a bra in general. I think it should be optional.

I guess I should just be lucky that I have anything to fill a bra with in the first place huh?

Momma Fargo said...

LOL. Those darn fitting room attendants... For Pete's sake it's an underwear store! Privacy, decency, people!

June said...

I will never forget my first trip to VS with Cayla. She was in the dressing room with me and was like "Can't you pull them up?"

She caused these saggy boobs!

I have been to Hooters once and those fake bimbos were worse than any VS I have been too...

BigSis said...

Between you and Joann I think it's all covered! boobies, boobies, boobies (I just like to say that.)

Amanda said...

I used to be a Vicky's fitting room attendant -- we were awful. Actually, I was one of those who was like, "listen, here is the whole box of sample bras in your size, go crazy and if you need me, let me know."

Alyssa said...

That Victoria Secret Fitting Room Attendant...gotta love it!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

I love Victoria's Secret but I am always annoyed by the people that work there.

Salt said...

Hahaha messing with Victoria's Secret employees is such a fun pasttime. :)

I'm off to read your guest blog! I'm sure it's fabulous.

Two Normal Moms said...

40DD, huh? Did she actually bring it to you? I've had a "fitting" by them. I was with my cousin when she had a "fitting" by them. They always do the same thing - down the number one size and up the letter one size. You a 36B? They'll tell you you are really a 34C. Yeah right. And I really like the back fat that 34 is squeezing out.
***Ally

Travis said...

I would really like to see another woman handling my wife's boobs.

You know, for technique purposes.

And erections.

Ian said...

Classic Daffy FTW!

*snort*

From Tracie said...

The last time I went bra shopping I had one of those perky pests....by the time she got done with the "fitting" I was trying to figure out what lesbian signals I must be sending out, because it sure seemed like she was picking up on them. Just sayin'....its a fitting not a fondling!

Me-Me King said...

Now that I'm up off the floor and have wiped the tears of laughter so I can finally see this god-danged screen to where I can comment....

I can't stop laughing.....

adrienzgirl said...

I'm not sure why whistling bugs the living shit outta me, but it damn sure does. And they always whistle some ridiculous tune too. Pop goes the Weasel. Imma POP something, and it ain't a weasel!

Victoria Secret? Don't get me started. Hate those bitches. All of them.

Mommy Lisa said...

I only go to VS during the semi-annual sale when those attendants are too darn busy to help you.

Cara Smith said...

The only good thing about gaining weight, is I no longer fit in the bras they carry in VS in the store. I can order, try on at home and have no skinny little sales girl offering assistance.

My Mercurial Nature said...

You should've tried on the thong!

Moooooog35 said...

Totally applying for the bra fitterer (?!) position at Victoria's Secret.

Cross your fingers!

Cross your heart!

Hillbilly Duhn said...

My eldest whistles, and I have threatend to rip his lips off and shove them up his ass...Ugh. Drives me nuts!

Boobie fitter? bwahahaha

April said...

I avoid VS now ... not only do their bras no longer fit, but those perky little people jump out from behind corners always wanting to find me something.
Come win a pair of shoes on my blog!! :o)

Tiffany said...

when whistling i emit more spittle than actual music type sounds...there goes my shot at greatness.

Danielle said...

Well Puddin, :)
Whistling is a mouth noise and me hates mouth noises.

Nancy C said...

I need to get a bra fitting, because I'm not sure what the right cup size of two tortillas is these days.

Damn nursing kiddos.

Viv said...

I have worn the same style, and the same size bra from VS for the last ~decade. The *only* thing I want help with, is finding them in the store. Thank you very much.

Erin said...

I hate whistling and VS employees. Ugh!

Off to see your guest post!

25BAR said...

loooooooool

That One Mom said...

I have a secret... I can't whistle. Don't tell... I'm wicked jealous of anyone that can.

Shell said...

Aw, the poor brainless VS worker had no clue who she was dealing with!

Shamrock said...

The last time I was at VS the attendent wanted to give me a fitting as well I told her I didn't have that kind of money on me. She told me it was free.. My reply was well the last time some chick sucked on em' she sucked so hard they fell and I had to pay for that. So no thanks!

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

You just said shart. You really just said shart and now my heart is exploding pink puffy hearts for you.

MiMi said...

Whistle while you work....Dumbass is a jerk....

purseblogger said...

Haha, I am laughing hard! :)

Tracie said...

Ashley just wanted to sneak a peak at the Duckalicious boobage in the dressing room.

Michelle Pixie said...

One day Ashley's boobies will be touching her knees...Just you wait Miss Ashley!!! They won't always be so perky all on their own. Bwahahahaha

Mad Woman said...

Whistling makes me angry. Not sure why. But that boob girl would have made me angrier.

Dee Crowe said...

*stands up and claps* Yeah! I would love to see the look on one of those VS gals when this is ripped on them...honestly..they are just doing their jobs..but I've had more than just a couple of those little trollops look at me like I really should not be there...

leigh said...

We have a fancy lingerie store in ATL where if you request a fitting, a lady follows you into the fitting room and feels you up. I'm not kidding either. She gets all Grabby Mcgraberston. You stand up straight and she feels your bobbies, Then you lean forward and she feels your boobies.

Although I felt violated I must admit that I ended up with the right bra for the first time in my life.

And a new girlfriend over at Phipps Plaza.

HeatherLynn said...

At least you can shop AT v/s....they don't have bra's big enough for me!

it's a sad sad day when i stroll past the pink lusciousness of the store, knowing that I can't go in and play pretty with the smaller boobed girls! :(

*Pouts*
~hl~

Kat said...

Love it! I never thought to do that to one of those little Victoria Secret chippies...what fun!

singedwingangel said...

roflmbo @ all the comments. I have NEVER needed V/s I am always a Lane "bryant girl. Never more so hen when I was pregnant with # 2 and they grew to epic proportions. The fitter there was very friendly and said "oh honey those must be painful." I was like ya think... umm yeah JJ baby oh yeah they come that big lol.

Pat said...

If you want to see a grown woman cry, just start whistling. It hurts my ears! I can hear things normal people can not, so you can imagine what WHISTLING does to me! I start howling! So, yeah, go ahead and rip the kid's lips off! You have my permission!

That's all I'd need if for some perky little twit to "help" me with my bra. Yeah. That will be happening.

The Blue Zoo said...

Whistling is awful!!! I hate it when people follow me around whistling...
Makes me wanna smack 'em!

I think poor Ashley just wanted to be your friend..... Or sneak a peek at your boobies! lol

The Random Blogette said...

I am with HeatherLynn! I went to VS 6 years ago looking for a bra to wear with my wedding dress and the lady's jaw about dropped when she got a view of my beauties. After she gained her composure she stated that They did not carry anything over a D, which I know they had some DDs because I bought some there before, but she said that I would be better off to go to Lane Bryant. At first I was appalled because I only weighed 100 lbs, but I had giant knockers. LB has the best bra fitters ever. If you are a C or above they handle those babies with such care. It was the best bra fitting ever!