If You Can't Take the Heat Get Outta The Kitchen

"…mom we did some cool experiments in Science today.

'Glad you had a good day Daffy.'

'I have a paper describing how to do it at home. It was really easy to do at school; do you think I could try it again tonight? (which was a total lie. We DID NOT try the experiment at school. It was dangerous.)

'Sure. After dinner.'"

So fast forward through dinner and cleaning up because I’m sure somehow my sisters made sure I was on dish duty that night. Every one was busy elsewhere in the house. Mom set me up with a small sauce pan and the corn starch the experiment required. I was in 6th grade afterall; totally competent to handle myself at the stove.

A little cornstarch in the bottom of the pan…..low heat….it removes the moisture in the starch. I expertly wiggled the pan now and again to prevent burning. That would come later; the burning.

Sufficient time for the moisture to cook away and then I moved to stage two. At the island was three lovely pieces of construction paper laid out awaiting their line. With the deft skill of a lifetime snorter 6th grade perfectionist I lined out the cornstarch on center of each piece which was then rolled into straw like tubes.

Step three required a lighter and some blowing power. Step 3 on the worksheet says to be sure that nothing flammable is in your work area and to be sure there is adult supervision. WHATEVER.

So I am standing where the X is (see picture below). I pick up my first rolled tube of moisture free corn starch and instead of blowing I end up sucking. It could happen to anyone so shutyerpiehole. After chugging some Gatorade (the old school kind…you know, the orange powder mix) I pick up my awesome tubular mega straw number 2.

Flick the Bic....

Flame roaring at the end of my fully extended right arm, I take a deep breath before putting my lips to the tube and blow…


BAM!

Shooting flames come roaring out as the cornstarch meets flame and it is the COOLEST FREAKIN’ THING I’VE EVER SEEN JUST LIKE SPECIAL EFFECT EXPLOSIONS IN THE MOVIES! I’m screaming out of excitement and the smoke alarm is screaming out of fear. My mother rushes in to find her refrigerator torched black.


Remember that little diagram above?


I was standing opposite of the fridge.


It was white.


Now its black.

Mother sorta freaked out - the wuss. Once all the screeching stopped (including the fire alarm and my sisters) I realized there was still one tube left. My mother realized she should’ve looked at the experiment paper first. I totally snuck outside to torch something else while she fretted over how to clean the fridge (turns out it was just soot....no damage done).

I’m thinking that the fascination with fire and things that explode is quite possibly genetic. Yesterday, I grabbed one of those BBQ Grill lighters to light a candle. Upon seeing the flame flick out my 17 month old’s eyes go wide and she says, “Oooh! Pretty Mommy”. She may look like her father but she's momma through and through!

Last week's participation in Memoir Monday  was epic! Be sure to jump ponds and visit Travis at I Like to Fish. Read other memoirs or post and link yours! It's the latest craze. Everyone is doing it and SO SHOULD YOU!