Convos From the Hood – VII Edition
There is rarely a dull moment when one works in an inner city high school. I'm fortunate that I don't feel the need for a flak jacket and Rambo to provide some 'cover' while I sprint from my car, HK 9mm in hand, to the school building. Join me for a snap shot of what happens Monday through Friday between the bells.
Student: Mr. Jeremy, you’re Catholic, right? What did you give up for Lent?
Mr. J: coke
**crickets**
Mr. J: …cola? You know, the drink?
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Ron: …not in the hood? Shit I gunna shake yo shit up cos.
Denzell: He got his momma gun an all actin hard…hood n stuff cos.
Ron: That stupid cos! He shot hisself cos and that’s real. I aint worrit.
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Coach: …even if you was stupid I’d still be flirtin with you. You fine…mmmmm…
Daffy: You said I was cuter before I opened my mouth.
Coach: See, I rarely meet someone that’s full of more bullshit than me. When I found out just how much bullshit…well…yeah, it was on fo sho!
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Katherine to Daffy: Want to meet my invisible vampire posse? Justin says he’s in love with you.
Daffy: Wow. I must be really special!
Katherine: No, he just thinks you’re hot *swift kick backwards* JUSTIN! Say hello….
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Kid #1: You gotta job now, why you not fix yo glasses (points to duct tape)
Kid #2: Cuz I don’t really even need ‘em. I only wear ‘em when I need to see n stuff…
...and there you have it. Prime examples of why some gene pools need a gazillion gallons good dash of bleach. Always good for laughs blog fodder I'm collecting some great stuff from the kids for next week. So if this is the only post of mine you read, check back next week. you won't be disappointed! If you'd like to read past editions check out the archives or
my favorites Here and Here .
my favorites Here and Here .
40 comments:
This coach dude is scary, but you is fine...fo sho.
Wow! I'm such a nerdy geek, I may need to bring in an interpreter for half of this!!
Thanks for the laugh...
HAHAHA i'm so glad you reposted this because it was one of my first blogs I ever visited and I was ROFLMGAO (Rollin' on the floor laughin my ghetto azz off!). I didn't put the connection on where I found that post... i shoulda known!! LOL!!!
I feel so streetwise now!
Just kidding. Still an old white guy.
Wowsers. Meant to ask - you're a sign language interpreter at a public school?
The first one - HYSTERICAL. I couldn't even understand the second one. I'll have to get my kid to translate for me.
Oh, and... Don't. Ever. Stop.
These are SOOOOO funny.
They never fail to deliver, do they?
I'm still just so white.
Coach just gets a little creepier each week...
And the rest? LOL. Those kids... wow, is all I can say.
***Ally
Yo, cos. Now I know what you be talkin bout when you be talkin shitz bout blowin my mister. Yo, dat be jacked, bitch! I aint worrit. NRA, baby. NRA.
:) It's sad that your CFTH takes me back to my High School days. I went to an all black school. Well, almost. There were three white girls. Everyone called me "Dollar." hehe
What the heck does that second one even mean?
Gazillions of gallons of bleach is right!
You always make me laugh!!
I'm so jealous. No invisible vampires think I'M hot.
These are awesome! Or awful...I still haven't figured out what they mean. ;) I have a friend who teaches in the Milwaukee Public School System...I love hearing his stories, especially when he forwards them to me as news clippings.
Wow, when you said inner city, you weren't kidding! I think it's cool you work there, though. I know there are lots of thins to poke fun at, but I bet there are some amazing stories of courage too! That coach sounds horny, ewww!
The town next to me is small-town "inner city" so I could relate & understand everything. Except Justin! Now that worries me.
when I need to see and stuff.....lmao;)
Love these posts! Maybe you and Justin could go on a double date with Katherine and her invisible vampire. Now that's a blog post chock full of potential! LOL!
You are so fly for a white girl.
ok, that whole invisible vampire thing really freaked me out...what the "H" is up with THAT?!?!
And this Coach guy.....does he EVER give up?
~hl~
you fine fo sho girl! and that no joke cos. i friggin love convos from the hood! and how hot are you...even the invisible vampires want a piece!
Oh man fo sho coach you're pushing that sexual boundary at work!
I aint worrit?? LOL Wtf is that convo even about?
I dont know how you make it through the day without smackin some of these kids! =)
LMAO I don't need my glasses only to see, HA!
If I were you, I'd have me IQ re-tested. Working with and around those geniuses might have a negative affect on your intelligence.
I kinda like Katherine. Justin is a total douche, though.
What the hell are Ron and Denzell even saying?!
Of course they would think of drugs when coke is mentioned! Of course I knew exactly what was meant.
Or course.
You believe me, right?
Seriously, you can't make that stuff up. The coach guy freaks me out a little.
I wear my glasses only when I need to see stuff and shit. Which is like always. sure 'nuff
Great stuff as always.
Wish I worked around as many retards as you, so I could over hear fodder for my blog.
you is so fine mama!!!!
;)
Oh my goodness, this is priceless! LOL
Daffy, I've met you IRL and I can say YOU IS DAMN FINE, GIRL!
And maybe this Jewish ninja should give something up for lent. hee hee
Is it hard to find well spoken coaches in your area? tee hee
Come to think of it the football coach was our drivers ed teacher in high school. Yeah...we heard about every date and drunken fest. Spent most of the class reading a paper with his poncherello glasses on.
Shaggin Waggin,
Holly
LOL! Wow. I'm not even sure that second one was even a conversation. Or maybe I don't understand "hood" as well as I thought. I do love the last one though. "I only need them when I need to see n stuff..." Yeah...me too kid. Meeeee too.
Looks like Coach has some competition.
From Invisible Vampires, which is worrying because not only can you not see them coming, but they're incredibly powerful as well.
You are fast becoming one of my favourite bloggers!
As a fellow blogger working in inner city schools, I love these accounts. They make me feel less alone :-)
I only need my glasses so I can see n stuff...I hear that convo around my house. Two boys with glasses and neither one use them.
The oldest was talking about seeing "flares" when he was driving last night. And I'm thinking, "where are your glasses which you are supposed to wearing for night driver?"
"I only wear 'em when I need to see and stuff" - Clearly, this child has a bright future. Perhaps in politics?
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