Hey! That's Bullshit

Really? 

Seriously?!

Those two words have accompanied nearly every facebook post I've thrown up in the last week or so. I'm on a luck streak...bad luck.

Really?! Seriously?!....
Irishman's morel hunting was very successful. He brought back a hefty sack full of what I have heard to be some amazing tasting mushrooms. I can't confirm that for you. One day they were in the fridge and the next they were gone. Turns out he decided to bread and fry them while I was working one night. Jerk

Really?! Seriously?!
Tick season is upon us. Do you have ANY idea how traumatizing tick season is for us freckled people? Glancing down to see one of your freckles MOVE.... {shiver} it sends me into full SELF FLOGGING mode. Wicked ninja moves unfortunately do NOT come in handy when attempting to remove ticks from your person.


Really?! Seriously?!
I was working a job and was assaulted.
SIXTY people in a room and I am the ONLY one who is attacked, taken out at the ankle of my BAD FOOT (seriously, THREE WEEKS OF PHYSICAL THERAPY GONE IN A SECOND), catapulted over some chairs and on to a table by a runaway scooter.

WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT HAPPEN TO?!

"Oh! Gee!" the woman says when my body smushed against some banquet tables had finally stopped the forward movement of her scooter, "My transfer cane slipped and lodged on the accelerator." she says as she shifts the grapes she's munching on from one hand to the other. And somehow I am the asshole for asking the disabled person how the hell she ever passed a driving test for that thing.

 Really?! Seriously?!
I drove an hour north for a job yesterday and managed to chug back almost all of the gallon of water I'm suppose to be drinking daily. Stands to reason I needed to pee....BADLY! Like Ialmostdidn'tgetmysetbeltoffintime kind of badly. You know it. The one where you have to take baby steps all the way to the door while stooped over because large movements in upright positions and you might as well just call for a wardrobe change? Yeah...THAT bad. I stopped at a gas station at the edge of town, shuffled in and asked where the restroom was. No sense wasting time shuffling around.

"We don't have a public bathroom"

 "EXCUSE ME?"

in broken English, a little slower this time (I'm guessing he took the AREYOUFUCKINGKIDDING ME look on my face for something closer to Please Talk To Me Like I'm Stupid)
"We dooonT have puBLIC bathroom"

"Well kiss my ass, Jack. I'd rather give my money to an American anyway" (I would've bought gum or something in return for a clean bathroom experience)

It was tempting to stomp out because then he would.ve had to mop up my pee trail but I hadn't worked the job yet and I refused to work in pee pants.

Really?! Seriously?!
I watched the dog of a client puke in the corner of the room and then eat it. I was gagging so badly it was very possible I could've thrown up all over myself. The next thing I knew said dog was sitting on the couch back behind me and molesting the INSIDE OF MY EAR with its tongue. *cue pukage*

And it's only Wednesday folks. Pray for me.

What's Up With You? -#iPPP

I thought about writing that whole "Hey, I took a break, did ya notice" post but....meh.... if you didn't notice then it wouldn't matter.

So, TADA! Here I is again. Sometimes life just demands you write about the stupid shit that's thrown when you set down your shield. Wonder Woman has days like that, ya know. And there's a strong possibility that I am just woman. At least according to Lil Duck there ain't no wonder about it...I'm just woman. Funny kid, eh?

The short version of the last couple of weeks looks like this:  work, the gym, the disaster, working on flattening my ass, getting bored, then angry about the inactivity and taking to full on nutcase when I spend too many hours at home alone.

The Disaster: torn tendon in foot. Estimated recovery time 3-6 weeks (shoot me!)

The best part is my kick ass octopus! I'm slowly getting back into the gym but very limited on cardio. I'm gonna look like Mr. T up top and Tweety Bird on the bottom half. ...le sigh...

So what's a gal to do when the men folk are out mushroom hunting and hitting the amusement park?

 Oh yes I did!

The prop possibilities were endless....I have however been banned from wearing the wig to bed. Evidently it was just a tad too much for Irishman. Party pooper.

So....what's up with you?

Linking up with Greta and Sarah for the #iPPP photo phun! Join in and share your normalicy or lack there of. Just DO IT!

Lunaling - Weight Loss Clothing

Lunaling contacted me about a possible review of their amazing products at the most perfect time! I had just started a 12 week bootcamp training and after researching the product a bit, knew this would be an awesome enhancement to reaching my goals!

They didn't disappoint and I wasn't wrong! Instead of sharing a bunch of fluff, let's get right to the good stuff. The stuff you wanted to know when you clicked the link. *(this is taken from their website)

Lunaling increase energy expenditure during exercise by 6% versus the control garment. Lunaling increase energy expenditure in the hour after exercise by 26%*

 In 30 minutes of exercise, weight loss is around 4x greater in Lunaling than in a standard garment. On average, subjects lost 1.13% of body mass in Lunaling compared to 0.27% in the control garment.

 Lunaling increase the core body temperature by an average of 18% more than the control garment, which leads to an increase in metabolism.

Tested on 9 women with an average BMI of 23.3. All test subjects performed 30 minutes of exercise in Lunaling as well as in a standard control garment.

So does it work?

ABSOLUTELY! I've had such dramatic results that I will not hit the gym without a pair of workout gear on! I am going to add more to my collection. 

I started my bootcamp weighing in at 131.4

After 3 weeks of wearing the pants and working out I weighed in at 123.8 and have lost two inches in my hips as well as dropped over one percent in body fat. I have lost enough weight and changed my body shape that the pair of capri pants I was sent for the review are now too big! Which is good and bad. Now I have to buy a smaller pair!

I was also anxious to put to the test the raise in body temperature affecting the amount of calories burned in a workout. I wear a heart rate monitor to keep track of cardio calories burned while working out. There was a significant difference in the amount of calories burned while wearing the Lunaling wear versus regular workout clothing. I am absolutely SOLD on the effectiveness of this product and even had Irishman lamenting the fact that they don't have a mens line (hint hint! Guys want this too Lunaling!!)

They are comfortable to wear while working out and do a great job of holding in the sweat. I have also notice the appearance of my skin has improved on my legs and abdomen as well. I love that the waist covers above my belly button assuring that lower abdominal area is receiving the benefits of the revolutionary product as well. 

You can purchase, research and read more about Lunaling at www.lunaling.com. Be sure to check out their Facebook page as well. Lots of great testimonies can be found there!

**both photos are from the Lunaling website. All credit belongs to them.

The "G" Word Plus Somthing Extra

illustration by Shannon Orcutt originally posted here

Not all gyms are created equal. I'm sure you've heard this before and some are down right intimidating. The gym Irishman and I frequent live at was selected solely on equipment available.

Meh...Not really.